Recreational sports. It’s life or death out there. You obviously need a guy like this Pi Kappa Phi bro from Sacred Heart University in your corner. Not only is he good for spewing out a canned speech — laced with passion and “FUCKS” — revolving around getting knocked down and then getting back, but I bet he makes a damn good center/blocker. Which, as any fat kid on a Pop Warner football team knows, is just as important as the skill positions.
His speech is below, but prior to listening to it I urge you to “hold the man next to you,” because being embraced by another man, from what I can glean, is how the speech is intended to be heard.
I bet they lost.
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