College
by L.Mac on December 5, 2013

The Over-Prepared

This type of  person has been studying for next week’s finals for over a month now. Almost every night you’ve tried to get this person to come out over the past several weeks, his excuse has been, “Sorry, man. I have finals coming up.” What a nerd. You can guarantee that once finals week commences you’ll never see him, as he’ll be locked up in his room or in the darkest, dingiest corner of the library. He’s probably had each exam’s material down for over a week now, but his OCD will cause him to triple-check his knowledge of each subject until finals week starts.  Finals for this dude will go one of two ways; he’ll either ace each exam, or he’ll have a complete meltdown and bomb every one of his finals.

The One That Likes The Idea Of Studying More Than Actually Studying

Coffee? Check. Netflix? Check. Snacks? Check. New playlist full of Miley Cyrus and Jay-Z? Check. Over-sized headphones? Check.

While this guy might look like he’s hard at work, there’s almost a zero-percent chance that he’s actually doing anything productive and close to a one hundred percent chance that he’s actually on Facebook. This is the type of guy who will spend thirty minutes setting up his study space, do about fifteen minutes of work, and then spend the rest of his time on social media and updating his fantasy league. The likelihood of this guy doing well on his finals is pretty slim.

The Stressed

We’ve all seen the “Three more exams, two papers, and one presentation to go until I’m back home. I can do this! Send some positive energy my way!” Facebook statuses and tweets from this person. This poor soul is probably a good student who goes to class regularly, takes thorough notes, and enters finals week with A’s and B’s in each class. For whatever unexplainable reason, though, this individual becomes unbelievably stressed during finals week. You can expect to see this person sitting alone in the library in full sweats with a depressed look on his face as he panics his way through studying.  Despite his unrealistic fears, he’ll probably do really well on each exam, post a ton of annoying Facebook statuses about the outcomes of those exams, and then this entire miserable process will repeat itself next semester.

The Indifferent

This person just doesn’t give a shit.  He knows his finals are coming up and he couldn’t care less. He’ll spend all of finals week going out and getting hammered until the day before (or day of) his exam, go on an Adderall binge, take the exam after a few hours of studying, and pull off a score somewhere in the C or B range. The majority of people who fall into this category are already pretty naturally intelligent, so there’s a strong chance this type of person will get decent grades on each of his exams after coasting through the entire semester. After all, C’s get degrees, right