College
by Thomas on June 25, 2013

Most people spend their summers doing nothing. It is business as usual. But summertime isn't a time to spend behind a desk organizing spreadsheets and playing on Facebook. This is the time of year to spend traveling to great destinations like The Hamptons or Jersey Shore. And what better way to spend your time and money than to participate in a summer share house.

Share houses are exactly that, houses that are shared. Think of it as a Frat house with strangers, both male and female. The best part is, the houses are usually much nicer and include fascinating amenities you wouldn't normally be accustomed to outside of your hometown. Things like limo rides to city clubs, pool parties with celebrities, keg stands by the hot tub next to the beach, and hooking up with some of the finest tails in the US. Summer house sharing is one of the greatest things any person can do for a few weeks in the summer.

This is how you want to spend your summer. There is one downside to every great story, the different types of people you will encounter on this endeavor. Just remember, not everyone thinks like you and will most likely end up falling into one of the below categories so be careful and understand what to expect.

Sluts

Sluts are everywhere and aren’t just women. Men can be slutty too. Every party summer sharehouse will be full of people between 20-40 years old all looking to remove themselves from the real world and party. Sleeping around happens, that is life and people love sex. Just make sure to be careful about where you lay your head because people don’t share a home and keep silent. Everyone talks.

Free-Loaders

Every sharehouse is going to include people that are less than interesting. Most of the time those same people are freeloading their way to a great ass summer on your dime. They never pay for pizza; always show up late, and never offer to pick up the tab. Hell, they might not even be staying in the house. They always end up showing up at all the events but no one seems to know who they are until everyone goes home. 

MGMT Dudes

Until music ends, there will be one person that loves music particularly party music. This type of person will end up getting on your nerves within a day of being in the house for one reason, the music never stops. Whether it is afternoons by the pool or early in the morning after a big house party, this guy is going to be playing music that he thinks the house is enjoying. It might be fun at first but sometimes enough is enough. No one wants to hear MGMT at 5am when trying to sleep.

Messy People

Clean up after yourself bro. Why would you pay loads of cash to spend time in someone else’s beautiful home only to be a sloppy POS? In a house full of women and men, leaving crap all over the place will get you a reputation you would probably wish you didn’t have. You think all the pretty women will want to come up to your room after they see how you clean up after yourself in the bathroom? I will help, they will not.

Those People Everyone Else in the House Hates

Even if you meet your housemates before hand, you might not get a true feel for every single person. It is tough to know how people really are until you spend time with them in the same house. But you won’t be alone. Everyone will end up hating that person. Everything that person does will irritate the house to no end. Remember Puck from MTV’s The Real World? 

Fighters

Let’s get drunk to the point where we lose all control of our brain functions and just start laying people out left and right. That sounds like a great idea. The fighters are mostly going to be guys, few ladies love to fight, of many different shapes and sizes. But the one truth that will remain is that after a night of drinking, someone is going to get hit in the mouth for no reason at all. Awesome. Who doesn’t love a good smack in the face with a closed fist?

Package Dealers

When doing research for the perfect summer sharehouse, what is the one thing you always notice? Beautiful people. It is rare to see ugly people having fun at these houses. That isn’t an accident. That’s called product placement and it works. Who wants to spend all summer partying with people that reclassify the word ugly? The package dealers are those people that you have seen advertised that just so happen to live in the house with you. From the music video women to the Jersey Shore dudes, the package dealers will make the house more exciting. 

Spoiled Kids

With the prices you will end up paying for these summer share houses, don't expect everyone to be floating their own boats. In fact, a majority of the people you will end up rooming with, maybe even you, will have their parents paying the way so don't expect to get along with everyone. Just because their parents are paying doesn't mean they will be spoiled. But those that end up being spoiled, well, you will know who they are day one. The term personal space or personal property means very little to these people so lock your doors at night. As for reasoning, don't expect any with the spoiled kids of the world, they just will not understand.

Cheapskates

Being a cheapskate and being a free loader are two completely different types of people. The cheapskate is going to be someone willing to pay for their portion but only after they have done the research and found every single way to save a buck. They will not be paying extra for a hot tub in the bathroom and they will not be offering to drive anyone without splitting the gas. Those are the cheapskates you would hate to room with in a house all summer. Imagine being in a room and your roomie always asks for cash to pay for things you would normally not give a crap about? That would not suck, it would be downright annoying.

“Party” People

When it is over, it is over. The party can continue for hours on end but when the time comes for head home or hit the sack, get some rest bro. Not everyone wants to party 24-7-7. There is a time and a place to have a good time but batteries need to be recharged at some point, right? Drinking Red Bull is great for staying up a few extra hours but not four days straight. No one gets a trophy for staying up all day everyday.

[Photo via The Whitebrier in Avalon, probably the best happy hour spot on earth]

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