The world needs rankings. Without rankings, we will never know who’s best, who’s worst, who’s average and who can’t count. The world of New York University needs a ranking of its Greek system and the fine folks are Thrillist feel that job belongs to one anonymous NYU sorority girl.
“The fact that frat dudes make up less than 7% of NYC’s undergraduate student body, and all lack a proper frat castle, has somehow still never stopped them from raging in cramped apartments and dirty LES bars on a Saturday night.
And since I know all you do is lay awake at night, wondering which NYU fraternity is the coolest (and also because being judgy is super fun), I ranked all of the NYU frats from worst to best, considering the four pillars of Greek life — service, brotherhood, leadership, and scholarship (this is NYU, we hang out on the 5th floor of the library like it’s cool, for God’s sake) — along with a few, much more shallow criteria tossed in for fun.”
So essentially, one sorority girl is going to rank entire groups of men probably based on the following criteria:
1) Which frat she’s bucking to be a sweetheart of
2) Which frat has the best parties
3) Which frat she’s never talked to or partied with
4) Which frat has a brother she fucked the first week of school, he blew her off, and she’s still bitter after four years
5) Which frat her boyfriend is in
6) Which frat the guy she’s side-fucking is in
and I’ll save you the click
1) ZBT
2) Alpha Epsilon Pi
3) Phi Gamma Delta
4) DKE
5) Pike
6) Zeta Psi
Next week, come back for her definitive ranking of Jelly Belly flavors and the best morning after pill with brunch.
H/T Thrillist