Well, this is certainly something. University of Michigan students have spent the last few days circulating a crazy message from the school's Pi Kappa Alpha (Pike) chapter to its sorority Alpha Phi. The email is mainly an invite for the two's "America" party happening tonight, however, it gained notoriety on campus for another reason: Attached is a huge picture of all the dudes undressed.
A tipster emailed the original picture to us yesterday, making clear to say that a few members of the school's other fraternities were less than impressed with Pike's "aggressiveness." Two other tipsters today told us more or less the same story.
But after reaching out to several undergrads at Michigan, we were ultimately put in touch with one of Pike's social chairman, who originally wrote the party invite and told us a different story. He said that he and the other social chairman were just looking to "create a buzz with the pictures" and that they didn't expect "every frat and sorority to get their hands on it." "Lesson learned for promoting our upcoming proctologist-themed mixer," he joked.
Below is the full email that was originally sent to Alpha Phi Wednesday. While it's clearly in jest, it proves Duke isn't the only school sending controversial invites nowadays.
Subject: Cute Puppies, Organic Gourmet, High Fashion, and How to Make Him Eat Your Box (aka URGENT!!!!)
Do you love your homeland? We at Pike sure do. We read Whitman's poems by our fireplace and pour maple syrup on our apple pie. We hold Alexander Hamilton's belief that keg stands are not "a feat, but an expectation." We recognize His benevolence in bestowing upon us His great and Holy game of Football, and one of our sophomores drives a pick-up truck. We exercise our 4th amendment right to drink beer through any orifice we want. We paddle pledges because it's a comprehensive upper body workout. We invoke imagery of James Madison to describe particularly attractive females. And because the effort to throw our parties is entirely our own, we see to it that the grand majority of our peers remain uninvited, and presumably underemployed with little to no health benefits.
What is America? America is a place where drinking until you puke means drinking until you win. America invented the blunt. And LSD. America is disregarding next week's midterms because Kamchatka doesn't drink itself. America does not let the bartender cut her off. America. America is the love child of 2 Chainz, Kate Upton, and Tim Tebow. America is the Doritos Locos taco and Mountain Dew Baja Blast. America is John Wayne and Ice Cube and Ronald Reagan and Andrew Carnegie. America. America is the Louisiana Purchase and defending The Alamo. America gave the world Hostess and then pioneered the capital management metrics which shut that shit down. America is losing legs in 'Nam and hazing terrorists in Abu Gharib. America invented the condom, and promptly outlawed it. America.
If the preceding two paragraphs didn't excite you at all, I suggest that you stay alert for a forthcoming drone attack, you terrorist whore. If, however, you count yourself a red-blooded, God-fearing American girl who has a specific spring-time gym routine to accommodate her summer-time jean shorts, come to Pike this Friday night around 10:00. (Be fashionably late. That’s America.) Wear your most patriotic threads as we celebrate this great country together.
Need some outfit ideas? A few of us created an inspirational piece with some possible suggestions. Trim fingernails before viewing.
Redistribution prohibited without expressed written consent of WangTown Photography, LLC. (Copyright 2013)
Through the night with a light from above,