College
by Jake Alexander on June 16, 2014

living-on-campus-during-break

After your first year of college, deciding how you spend your summers becomes a pretty big deal. If you’re not studying abroad, you probably end up taking classes. I like to divide up the kids taking summer classes into a few categories. There are the ones who royally shit the bed in a class and have to take it again in the summer, followed by the kids who take class during the summer because they have a job in their college town and not at home. Then there are the kids who are taking class to get ahead on their schedule to graduate early. And finally, those who just want to get drunk at the pool 7 days a week.

That being said, there are plenty of benefits to being on campus during the summer. You don’t have to answer to your parents every day of the week, who would like to be badgering you about getting a job and “why you’re sleeping in so damn late.” Class is merely something that happens in the morning and is devoid of seeming real. There’s something different about being on campus during the summer. Fuck with some campus tour groups if you want. Yell at the dads to hand over their daughters. In no way will it be creepy or off-putting. I promise.

There is, on the other hand, everything you might miss when you’re on campus. Unless you’re a huge douche and burned every single bridge with friends from high school, it doesn’t suck to get back together with some friends you haven’t seen in a while and get absolutely wasted does it? A round of golf and an 18 pack is a real easy way to catch up. You don’t even have to be good at golf. I suck, but every golf outing needs someone to drunkenly shout and drive the cart. So I do.

And what about those girls from your high school that went off to college and got hot? They could be back home, just begging to be Tinder-ed into your grasp. They leave for college unbeknownst to the inner party girl that lies dormant deep within them, and come back with their innocence tarnished for your benefit. Not exactly “bring home to mom” types, but… 1 handle of cheap vodka + someone’s basement = you get what I’m saying. And LEST we forget what a home cooked meal tastes like. No more ramen noodles and Red Bull…shit, Dad did you just cook a steak? And is this…a…real beer? No Natty? I know Kate Upton isn’t hand feeding it to you, but it is as close to Heaven as you’re gonna get for now.

**DISCLAIMER: Your parents must love you for that to occur**

However, here we are back to the striking benefits of on campus summer living. That post day drinking nap before you get up to go to the bar probably would be more frowned upon if you were at home for the summer. Mom and Dad can’t really have you ushering scantily clad coeds in and out of their home either.  The neighbors might ask questions! And there lies the beauty of living on campus during the summer – you can act almost the same way as you do during the year. Summer can be an entirely different animal if you want it to be.

Whatever you do/are doing – just don’t waste your summer, you guys.

Jake Alexander spends too much time at the pool and not in class. You can send him hateful messages on Twitter – @callmeshitto

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