21 of the greatest Joe Rogan quotes of all time
And this is why we don't put our heads in crocodiles' mouths

This Lawyer Begged for a Job in Mass Email, Included Pic of Underwear Pose

By / 07.25.13

Around 6,500 Internet years ago (2006), there was a guy named Aleksey Vayner, who went to Yale. Aleksey applied to the I-bank UBS with a video resume, which included, among other things: Aleksey giving advice for achieving life goals, Aleksey bench pressing 495 pounds, Aleksey downhill skiing (with jumps!), Aleksey serving a tennis ball 140 miles per hour, Aleksey “passionately” ballroom dancing, and Aleksey karate chopping seven bricks. The video circulated around Wall Street, then went crazy viral, and now it even has its own Wikipedia entry, “Impossible is Nothing.”

Below is 2013's Aleksey Vayner. As befitting these post-boom, job-scarce times, he's not nearly as awesome as Aleksey (who also claimed the Dalai Lama wrote his college recommendation letter, and that once he won two games against Pete Sampras, by the way). No, our new friend, Brian Zulberti, is just a guy who emails thousands of lawyers half-naked pictures of himself. Because that's how 2013 rolls.

From Above the Law:

Here’s the email that was widely disseminated to Delaware attorneys statewide by one Brian Zulberti, a 2009 graduate of Villanova University School of Law. Please won’t someone help this poor young stud?

Dear Delaware Attorney,

    My apologies for cluttering your E-mail with a non-life-or-death matter. I am a recently admitted Delaware attorney with minimal local legal contacts. I’ve diligently done outreach to all the large firms and still find myself running the job-search gauntlet. However, I know there are many solo practices, very small firms, in-house jobs, and other jobs that may be seeking help.

    In the interest of brevity and not being even more annoying than I already arguably am, I am not going to include any more information about myself. All I ask is that if you are looking to employ someone with a legal background, anywhere from paralegal to practicing attorney, let me know and I will send you some information about myself. Thank you for your time and attention.

    Note- it comes to my attention that a lot of attorneys are forwarding this to the individual in charge of hiring at various firms. I am sending out thousands of E-mails to attempt to reach as comprehensive and diverse a group of attorneys as possible. If everyone forwards it to the person in charge of hiring at their firms, those poor individuals are going to be swamped with E-mails from me. Odds are, that person will also receive an E-mail from me. So do not feel compelled to forward this along if you do not know of some particular, specific position available.

 

Zulberti failed to include any actual info on job-related qualifications , however he did include a glamour shot, and, if you Googled the guy, the picture above was easily available. (Hey, can you spot the grammatical error?)

Zulberti is not only taking all the attention in stride, he says that the fame—which is so, so fucking easy to come by nowadays—is what he was looking for. According to his (again, easily available) Facebook page, “I have never meant anything more than this. This press which I did not solicit or ask for is the best thing to ever happen to me. I have learned exactly who my real friends are. The way you all have illuminated yourselves to me in the last day will forever impact how I feel about you and how I act towards you.”

At least he inherited Aleksey's self-glorification.


TAGSlaw schoolLawyers
About Andy Moore...

I want more like this!

Follow us on Facebook and get the latest before everyone else.

MORE STORIES FROM OUR FRIENDS:

Join The Discussion


Comments are closed.

Sign Up