Welcome back to How We Party, the column where your debaucherous extracurricular education gets a GPA. This week, we head out to Columbia, South Carolina to rage with the Gamecocks. Are they the better USC?
If you enjoy racking up $500 tabs and having mom and pop fill your pockets the next morning..this might be the school for you. If you like getting your house party busted, go to Clemson.
In the fine city of Columbia, house parties are for two things. Geeds and pregames. I'm going to gloss over the first one and get straight to pregames. We're not talking about seven dudes sticking their thumbs up each other's butts playing beer pong. No, pregames at carolina consist of 100-300 people in actual houses, (not tiny apartments...Virginia Tech..) where kegs will be tapped, and bottles will be serviced every day of the week until about 11 pm, when the geeds crawl back into their holes from whence they came and the rest of us head out to the bars to get immaculately sloshed.
Pregames here = most people's parties. Fair point. 7/10.
The bar scene is absolutely ridiculous. Clearly you BroBible bastards know about the glory that is Pavs. See, there's Monday Night Pavs which consists of $1 bourbon and vodka, which clearly leads to the $2 doubles. This takes us to Tuesday at Kildares. Unlimited alcohol from 10-11 for a measly $8 followed by the legendarily raunchy $5 Fishbowls for the rest of the night. Wednesday, well Wednesday is pint night along with $5 unlimited tall boys at Delany's. Thursay is a mirror of Tuesday, and Friday and Saturday? Well in the fall no one gives a shit how much they spend cause the Cocks are bringing it home for us every weekend, so we're all too drunk from tailgates to care how much you spend. Naturally Sunday is the Lord's day, so you spend it 'reflecting' by the pool and watching football/nhl all year.
Us BroBible Jon Snow's do know of this shit. You have somewhere to rage every day of the week, mostly for cheap. That's a bar scene. Pour one out for the Lord's day. Minus one for being mathmatically unaware that football doesn't last the entire year. 9/10.
The mansions of Greek Village are fairly well known in the area. If you come visit, well, that should be your first stop. Situated right next to the Strom-Thurmond Wellness Center, you're bound to see hordes of incredibly sexy, scantily clad sorority sloots walk by after their abs and cardio daily 'workout.' The parties are always top notch. We don't really like having the administration up our asses so we tend to rent out bars and hotels to see how far we can stretch our social budgets. Pledges always at the ready to chauffer you downtown as soon as you call.
Have long been amongst the best. Not much else to add here, the scene is strong and there's a ton of legitimacy. Few schools buy into the culture as avidly as SC. Surely an SEC feel, meaning it's vastly different than scenes like Penn State or UMD. Many a Bro will argue it's a shit ton better. 9/10
We boast the largest sorority in the country with our ADPi's. It does not end there. Yes, we all have our fair share of bangin ass sluts at each fine university (generally we're talking in the south here), but when you have more than 30k students on our campus, the number of hot girls goes up substantially, and they've got dollars. The perfect mixture of southern, sexy, and straight up loaded doesn't get much better than at our fine institution. So Southern Cal, show me a 10 at your school, and i'll round up 100 10's from ours to shut you the fuck up.
Say what you want, the truth is that SEC girls are the best in the country. Nailed it. 10/10.
Sports Related Raging
The tailgates during football season are off the chain. Nappy Roots got nice and fucked up with us at the Georgia game, along with the 2000 people that were tailgating with them in our lot. Did I mention the new law which was brought about by our tailgate chairs for each home game? Oh yes, 80 kegs split between four fraternities along with pallets for all. You would do yourself justice to come on down next season BroBible. JUSTICE.
Caring is half the battle. Irrationally caring is the other half. 8/10
Sandstorm before the games is legen..wait for it..dary. legendary. Also the post game victory raising a toast to South Carolina isn't too shabby. Beach Weekend and Mountain Weekend are always a hit with the boys and girls. If you're not coming home with $10,000 in damages you're doing it wrong. Not only that but, St. Pats in Columbia with 50,000 people downtown with no open container laws? You can say I've heard it as being referred to as 'rowdy.
Very much like the other SC, these guys take their major traditions off campus. BroBible is fully aware that Beach week is all kinds of epic, though it's definitely not unique to SC. 7/10.
Have you been to our stadium before a football game to hear 2001? If not, get the hell in there and it'll get you thinking "Shit, why did I go to some dumb ass SUNY school in the north to pledge TKE." Oh yeah, we also have this guy:
Don't Clowney around. 9/10.
South Carolina 'How We Party' Score: 8.4/10
Overall How We Party Standings, Week 9:
1. University of South Carolina: 8.4
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