Welcome back to How We Party, the column where your debaucherous extracurricular education gets a GPA. This week, it's time to head up to Ann Arbor and Hail to the Victors:
The ultimate work hard, party hard experience.
Because there are 17,000 students living outside of campus housing, there's all sorts of house parties throughout the year. Unfortunately, the awful winter weather stifles these, as they're not always the easiest to get to. Once there though, you're guaranteed a good time, and the booze will be flowing and the girls will be abundant.
Weather is a killer, though oftentimes has the capacity to make parties great. Nothing like a solid winter college rager, especially at a big-time state school. Burn up that weather with never ending rage juice. 7/10.
While the bars are for the most part strict on ID's, they are still a huge part of the campus party scene. Hit up Rick's and Skeep's for a dancefloor hookup, or BTB or Charley's if you're trying to black out with the bros. There's a lot of bars all designed to serve the student population, and they don't fail to disappoint.
Skeep's is one of the top 10 Bro Bars in the country. Keeps them at that steady 8/10.
Greek life has some huge things going on. They're responsible for making football saturdays what they are, and there is guaranteed to be a frat throwing a party every night of the week. The best frat tradition is Mudbowl, an annual inter-fraternity tackle football competition. It's held in the mudpit in front of SAE, which is basically the Lambeau field of frat football. The winner of the bracket plays SAE before a home game sometime during the fall, and a huge crowd is guaranteed to show up.
UMich Greek life has hit the national spotlight a few times recently. Few years back with the excellent "Pursuit of Jappiness" video, but more recently with PIKE's out of the box mixer invitation. Have heard legends of mud bowl traveling all the way from Long Island. 9/10.
Truthfully, the girls at Michigan are not as great as you'd hope for. That's the price you pay for a smart school. But, the girls you care about fall into two categories: The Babes Frequently athletes, the babes are commonly the midwestern and in-state girls. They're super hot, not too bitchy, and just downright great. Then, there's the Japs. And there's a lot of them. They're everywhere. You'll find them at every frat or house party or any bar you go to on the weekends. All hailing from NY or NJ, they get on your nerves with their obnoxiousness, but there's definitely some smoking ones if you look in the right places.
Don't think you're giving your school close to as much credit here. Great combination of wholesome and disastrous, meaning the choice is yours. Though perhaps, as experts in Jappy Culture Studies, we having nothing but love for the Jewish American Princess. 7.5/10
Sports Related Raging
Michigan athletics have always been an incredible part of the schools history and traditions. The unofficial motto is "Win or lose, we still booze." See I'm Shmacked for video evidence. Football Saturdays are the most important days of the entire school year. The best weekend night is a Saturday morning in Ann Arbor. The population doubles, and the swarms of drunk alumni descend on the city as wasted undergrads are everywhere. The police are lax and let the ragers go, as the frat pregame houses pack the yards with people and booze.
The two videos below sum it up. Undoubtedly of the top 10 football atmospheres in the country, and this year's basketball run doesn't exactly hurt. Banner year, banner rating. 10/10
Outside of football saturdays, the biggest events are the semesterly Greenwood Block Parties. Greenwood Ave is a street lined with massive houses of 8-10 juniors and seniors per house. The block party consumes the entire street, and thousands of people show up to party in the streets. The cops hate the party, and this fall they weren't even able to drive down the street because we wouldn't let them. It's a total blowout of a party, and while it's not known to everyone, it's one of the biggest you've seen.
Go to most schools, and you'll realize again, you've got it pretty good. 8/10
Ever heard of the Michigan difference? It's what makes us so great. After working hard Monday through Thursday, it's great to go out and go nuts with thousands of other people just like you trying to do the same exact thing.
Plus one for being home to this character. 9/10.
UMICH 'HOW WE PARTY' SCORE:
COMPOSITE UMICH STUDENT RANKING: 7.5/10
COMPOSITE BROBIBLE EDITORIAL RANKING: 8.4/10
OVERALL HOW WE PARTY RANKING: 7.8/10
*Attained by averaging the two, with the student ranking weighted double the BB ranking.
Overall How We Party Standings, Week 5:
2. University of Michigan: 7.8