Welcome back to How We Party, the column where your debaucherous extracurricular education gets a GPA. This week, we head out to the midwest to party with the Fightin' Illini of the University of Illinois (Urbana-Champaign)
19+ bars and one of the biggest Greek communities in the nation. Best party scene in Illinois
BOOM! Fuck you, DePaul!
Smaller apartments and off campus houses mean smaller numbers than frat parties and bars, but since these usually take place during the week it's a nice, chill change of pace compared to bars and frats, although most frats throw house/apartment parties during the week and at the house on weekends.
Overall: 6/10 The house parties can be fun, but the other party scenes detract from their potential
House parties appear to know their role...change of pace is necessary, a good party scene is like a good batting order--too many power hitters and you won't succeed. Embrace this 7/10.
A definite highlight of the U of I nightlife, the bar scene here is fantastic. 19 and over will get you in, and cover is 5 bucks Thursday-Saturday. There are about 12 bars just on campus alone, so whether you're looking to grind on some girls (Joe's and Red Lion are your best bets there), or just chill with your bros, there's a bar for everything. If you're looking to catch a show, Canopy Club is a great venue, with Hoodie Allen playing there this year. Specials every day of the week are just another bonus. You can't go wrong with the bar scene here.
Overall: 9.5/10 The only thing holding me back from a 10 is the weather; waiting in line in 30 degrees sucks.
This is how all schools should do it--you're not denying kids the opportunity to socailize due to arbitrary age limitations that don't make any sense in the college environment, arguably making people drinking more responsibly, though that's a whole different issue and we won't touch upon it. But this is a great model. Agree with the weather. 9.5/10
The other highlight of the campus, the fraternity life at U of I is one of the biggest in the nation. There's an insane amount of frats on campus, meaning almost every day of the week one will be throwing down. Hundreds of people flock to these parties, and as long as you know a member, access is free unless it's a special event (which are insane). Kegs on kegs on kegs, free shots, and jungle juice will get you demolished, and there's always a good ratio due to the large number of sororities here as well. Most frat houses are old, but have great dance floors and most will hire DJs for the events. One of the best greek systems in the nation.
Overall: 9/10 Avoiding the 10 here again due to the fact that with the amount of fraternities on campus, there are some you should probably avoid.
Often gets overlooked due to IU, Michigan, Wisco, etc. These guys just shut up and let their game speak. That's how to do it. 9/10.
Decent is probably the best word to describe the girls here. On one hand you have a crazy number of sororities on campus, meaning you'll have your shot at some very attractive girls. However, there seems to be a pretty large drop off, as you'll definitely run into your fair share of grenades. To top it all off, as Childish Gambino should have said: Asian girls everywhere, UIUC.
Overall: 6/10 The sororities are nice, and the girls are chill, but beer goggles are your friend.
Sounds like a respectable scene. Wholesome. Gotta respect wholesome. 6/10.
Sports Related Raging
While our football team hasn't exactly lived up to its standards (they're awful), the basketball team draws a pretty sizable crowd, especially with the win over Indiana. Tailgates are plentiful when the weather isn't too bad, but the pregames at the bars are the highlight. Specials before every game are great, such as 2 dollar pitchers. Probably not an ideal sports campus, but definitely not bad. Overall: 7/10 The bar pregames are great, but the games themselves are average at best.
Bruce Weber's voice was pretty lacking back when the Illinois basketball team had that title run. Well chalk it up to the raucous sports partying atmosphere at $2 pitchers. 7/10
Another solid part of campus life, fraternities are always throwing events such as Beer and Pancakes, great Christmas parties, and some other solid events. None of these come close Unofficial. The biggest party day/weekend of the year, drinking starts in the early hours of the morning and continues until everyone on campus has either blacked out or passed out. Crazy house parties, the bars are packed, and people from every campus in the Midwest come to get tanked.
Overall: 8.5/10 The smaller events are definitely solid, but Unofficial is just insane.
Again, another overshadowed event, tales often trounced by Wisco homies hyping up the Mifflin Street Block Party (RIP). But again. We know the Illini come to play on this. 8/10.
Overall, a solid party scene, with a good mixture of frat life and great bars. With the size of the school, there's always something to do.
Our man didn't give a rating here, but we've basically been giving every school at 9/10 on this category--essence of the school and all that good stuff. 9/10
How We Party Score: Illinois
Composite Student Ranking: 7.9
Composite BroBible Ranking: 7.9
Overall How We Party Score: 7.9
Overall How We Party Standings, Week 8:
2. Univeristy of Illinois: 7.9
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