Welcome back to How We Party, the column where your debaucherous extracurricular education gets a GPA. This week, we head out to Oxford to see what's good with the Redhawks.
PIC VIA: Instagram User @jdbow
It's no coincidence that Miami has been shooting up the rankings lately and consistently making national headlines for outrageous events.
The house parties are mainly just an bigger pregame between what you'd normally think of as a pregame and the bars. Make no mistake they are every bit as big as an other schools house parties, they just only last till 12:30. Many houses throw post bar parties that typically rage until 5am or later. Many houses are passed down in the fraternities every year and well known by their names and have some great traditions attached to them. Day parties are also huge on Saturday afternoons and are really what separtes Miami daydrinking from daydrinking at every other school.
House parties are often based upon the "type" of person who goes to the school. Oxford features many a person who speaks in an pretty low voice and says the words "fucked up" a lot. You could argue this is typical of most colleges in America, but Oxford there's a special breed. It's one of those rare public schools that you get kids from all over, meaning there's a reason people come here. Heart of America, heart of partying. 8/10
Miami is by far the most underrated bar scene in the country. There are currently more liquor licenses isssued in Butler county than legally allowed by the state based on its population. The bars are unbelievably lax if you have something to show them and even if not, most have an 18+ option. Thursday through the weekend expect to have to wait a few minutes anytime after 12 and the big bars (Brickstreet, The Woods and Pachinkos) are usually 4 deep around the bar by 2PM on Saturdays.
Brickstreet is amongst the top in the country, and an 18+ culture has always made for the sloppiest of slop. Read through an Oxford police report, and you'll get an idea of what goes down. 8/10.
To say Greek Life dominates the social scene would be the understatement of the century. Take a look at any college gossip website this year and you'll see some of the ridiculous stories making the news out of Miami frats. Living in the houses is the only way to get out of living in the dorms as a sophomore and the makers of Animal House would be shocked at what goes on in some of them.
To sum it up I've been here 2 years and there hasn't been a single day I haven't seen at least three girls I would marry just walking around campus during the day.The Greek Life creates a lot of competition between the girls which is a win-win situation for the guys. Every friend I've had visit has loved Miami for a lot of reasons but their number one comment is always about how hot the girls are. They may not dress as big of skanks as the ASU girls but they are certainly hotter (and a lot less STDs)
Marriagable, that's pretty bold. As American Industrialism has taught us, competition = great situation. Great situation. 9/10.
Sports Related Raging
If Miami has one downfall this is it. I have no idea when the last time the football team was good although they have pumped out quite a few NFLers. The hockey team is really the only thing people care about and they are ranked top 10 nationally every year. When it comes to other college/pro sports though the Miami bros love their teams and the bars are a great atmosphere to watch the games in.
The Wally Sczerbiak days are sadly long gone as well. The school is weak here, but an event is still an event. 4/10
I think you guys may have heard of Green Beer Day so I won't even bother writing a paragraph about that other than its the only place in the world I know of where a 1,500 person party is just hitting its peak at 5AM. Homecoming is pretty big here too with all the Alumni coming back. The last month of the spring is absolutely insane as each notable fraternity has their own spring party tradition one of the weekends.
Going over the top is oftentimes the point of this place. 9/10.
After having visited friends at about 5 other big party schools in the midwest there is one thing that truly sets Miami apart: day drinking. The Big 10 and SEC schools have great football tailgates no doubt, but other than those 5 weekends its not even comparable. If its above 40 degrees I guarantee you Miami is going harder at 3:30 on Saturday afternoon than any other school on a consistent basis. We don't need a reason to do it, you've heard of Brick's 'Beat the Clock' and The Woods has 'Broken Clock' across the street so everyone heads there as soon as they wake up and eventually to a day party in some frat's backyard. Ohh and the endless supply of beautiful girls is never a bad thing.
You said it friend. 9/10.
Overall Miami Ohio 'How We Party' Score: 7.85/10
Overall How We Party Standings, Week 10:
5. Miami Ohio 7.85
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