Welcome back to "How We Party," the column where your debaucherous extracurricular education gets a GPA. This week, we do the Seminole chop, and wonder if it's racist, at FLORIDA STATE UNIVERSITY.
Hot girls. Cops don’t give a shit about drinking/underage drinking, never been to a party that got broken up, smoke weed wherever you want. On top of the party atmosphere, we actually learn. We’ve sent guys to space, have Nobel Laureates, and have a multitude of top CEO’s and politicians looking to hire our grads, for example. Look no further for the ultimate party school.
With an undergraduate population of around 37,000 students, you’re bound to stumble upon a house party near campus. They're either pre-games or full-on ragers crammed with over 2,000 people (seriously). House parties have a reputation for having a multitude of the beautiful girls from FSU at present and ready to get rowdy. They generally keep going strong well into the wee hours of the morning, and there is almost always a DJ spinning beats. Also, there's problem randomly walking into a house party, you may have to shell out $5 though, which isn’t a problem.
Friday nights are big house party nights. Typically lots of kegs and some liquor. Lots of people like to lock liquor up in their bedrooms as both a talking point and ruse to get girls sitting on your bed. Classy, I know.
The ability to walk into any place and get away with unlimited drinking for only $5—especially when you pay $5 a beer in NYC—should not looked down upon. This sounds lovely. 9/10.
Drink specials, too many to write at once. The bar scene is always poppin', seven days a week. The most popular nights are Purgatory at Potbelly’s Thursday’s, Happy hour at Pot’s on Friday, dollar drinks at the Strip, and Tuesday Boozeday at Bullwinkle’s. No need to worry about your fake at most places in Tallahassee, although there are maybe 3 bars that are somewhat strict on fakes. As for nightclubs, Coliseum is the place to go, and consistently brings in new music to the Tallahassee college scene.
There were also "late night bars." Which would put up a front of an "art gallery" where you'd pay some sort of donation, typically $10, and it was all-you-can-drink until the last person left. A roommate of mine once broke his nose when he fell asleep standing up straight and landed on his face after passing out at one of the late night bars. Good times.
Late-night bars! The seedy underbelly of Tallahassee! We love it! 8.5 out of 10.
Greek life has is a large presence at FSU. Pike and Phi Delt have some of the largest houses in the nation, and a sizeable portion of the student body is involved in a Greek organization. The girls at FSU have a national reputation for their looks, resulting in a very good-looking group of girls in each house. Seriously, there is no house with only busted girls. Big events for Greek life include tailgates for football games, frat-mansion parties, and socials.
FSU may have a large Greek presence, but it's not really known as a Greek school. So we must give this a 7.5 out of 10.
As mentioned above, the girls at FSU are gorgeous. It does not matter if you’re dealing with a geed or a sorority girl, our girls are hotter than yours, period. FSU has a very diverse student body, so it doesn’t matter if you want a charming southern belle or a smoke-show from Miami, there’s a girl for you. Living in a sunny environment, our girls have a lot of motivation to work out and maintain their bodies, which are almost always on full display. Also, our girls are always ready to get wild. Seriously, if you don’t get laid while visiting Tallahassee you’re doing something wrong. Finally, our campus has a major size discrepancy between girls and guys, in favor of the girls (64% female student population), so you never get used to walking around on campus and seeing the hottest girl in your life strutting along the sidewalk.
See: former BroBible contributor Jenn Sterger at the top of the post. She is purty. 9.5 out of 10.
Doak Campbell Stadium is known for its atmosphere on game day. Pack 80,000 rabid fans and a very large student section, and you have one of the most intimidating stadium atmospheres in the nation. Pair the free tickets with a consistently good football team, and you have a very loyal student fan-base here at FSU. Tailgates are a huge deal here, often against SEC schools. The fun doesn’t end with the football team, with our baseball team being a national powerhouse for example, and with our basketball team upsetting Duke and UNC in recent years (2012 ACC Champs). Oh yeah, the Marching Chiefs are the largest marching band in the nation.
Fall of course is the greatest time of the year with football, where we all would flock to the student ghetto (see this map) just across from the stadium. Or to the fraternity houses where they'll host the ladies for epic tailgates. Depending upon the start time of the game, and the opponent, these tailgates start as early as 5 a.m. The school likes to purposely schedule big rivalry games early in order to curb binge drinking but that doesn't stop anyone.
FSU hasn't really had the national championships of its neighbors—cough, UF—lately, but neither the basketball or football team is bad. Still: It's verrrry close to some very recent success. 7.5 out of 10.
Each semester the school provides a free concert. This spring we hosted Kendrick Lamar. Chief Osceola and Renegade were rated the number one college football tradition by ESPN. Pool parties are a very popular tradition, with ragers being thrown at each of the many apartment complexes, complete with kegs, drugs, beautiful women, and good music. With a very large alumni base, there’s always someone ready to hire an FSU grad, and the campus is constantly being improved. The FSU-UF rivalry is one of the best in the nation, and we get to talk shit about anyone in the state of Florida that doesn’t go to FSU, because we party the hardest, have hotter girls, and we’re not socially-awkward creeps (looking at you UF). Also, Van Wilder was literally based on the life of an ATO at FSU. Does your school have a movie based on a real life frat star? Didn’t think so.
Can we confirm the Van Wilder anecdote? No. But we're awarding a lot of points just in case. 9 out of 10.
Overall How We Party Standings, Week 14:
2. FLORIDA STATE: 8.5
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