Hey, you write what you know.
An amorous Oakland University student was suspended for penning an overtly sexual love letter to his teacher masquerading as an assignment. His appeal was unsuccessful. Bummer.
Joseph Corlett's lawsuit was dismissed by U.S. District Judge Patrick Duggan, who ruled in favor of Oakland University in suburban Detroit.
When Corlett referred to his teacher as "'stacked' and graphically compared her to a sitcom character he fetishized in a writing assignment, he brought a pig into the parlor," Duggan said.
"Such expressions, while possibly appropriate in some settings, need not be tolerated by university officials," the judge said.
Corlett, 57, was suspended in 2012 after writing about his writing instructor. He compared her to the sexy starlet Ginger from the 1960s TV series, "Gilligan's Island" and described her as "tall, blonde, stacked," among other things.
"Kee-Rist, I'll never learn a thing. ... I'll search for something unattractive about her. No luck yet," Corlett wrote.
He titled his essay "Hot for Teacher," the name of a Van Halen song. Corlett said students in the English 380 class were told to write honestly and that no topic was off limits. Oakland said the work was clearly inappropriate.
Anyone who has ever had a comely teacher knows the unique thrill of attending class and watching her operate. Most of us, however, have kept our dicks – and our pens – in check in the interest of staying enrolled.
Sometimes discretion is the better part of valor.
Perhaps Corlett’s next piece can feature more relevant pop culture references.
[H/T: Fox News]