College
by David Covucci on October 25, 2013

Yesterday, I posted the email address of the Virginia Tech Presidential Search Committee and said that any Bro who applied by sending a photo of themselves bonging a beer would have my allegiance. Well, Beau Ryck did, and now I need your help. Please email virginiatechpresident@russellreynolds.com with the subject line “Vote Beau, Yo” and let's see if we can get his campaign moving (you don't need to include any text in the email). Here's Beau's application in full. I think he'd make a fine president. 

To whom it may concern,

One of your alumni has recently made me aware of an upcoming opening for the prestigious presidential position at your institution. From the moment I hatched out of my multi-colored shell, I have been raised a HokieBird. I am sending you this message in order to apply for the position.

As a senior is college, I believe my lengthy term has enlightened me to the inner workings of a university.  While I may not graduate until the spring of 2014, this works to our mutual advantage. You will not need to employ me until June 2014 at the earliest, and I will not be removed from the world of academia. You may see my age as a weakness, but I believe it allows me to closely relate with the majority of your student body. Do not hesitate though, because I have a proven track record with mothers and fathers as well (I'm a man of the people, and my people are all ages), so I do not discriminate toward young people. I am considered a bit of a journeyman at this point in life, as i have attended three colleges in my three full years thus far, but I believe this represents my commitment to academic diversity. This strongly correlates with the ideals of your institution. In lieu of a resume, I instead have attached an image that I believe truly represents the confluence of all my admirable, visionary, and  enticing qualities (I give a fuck about an Oxford Comma).

I thank you for your time, and the consideration of my unique application. It is a true wonder that I have the opportunity to tackle such a large task so early in life. With such a long life ahead of me this could truly kick-start my career. 

You can follow Beau on Twitter at @beaulogna.