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How Can a Guy With a Bad Reputation Change Chicks’ Perception of Him? Plus Other Sexual Nonsense

By / 11.13.13

Q: I had a question for you about reputations. I'm a bro from a mid-sized school where the greek system is pretty big and to have any sort of a real social life, that's pretty much the only move other than bars and clubs. I'm in a frat and I guess you can say I have kind of built up a bad name for myself. I think girls think I'm either too much of a player, too fast or forward at worst, and I am definitely thinking sorority girls have told their sisters (and you know how rumors escalate). The truth is that since I even came to this school, my interest was in eventually meeting someone I liked and having a girlfriend. However, any time I meet someone showing interest, it almost always dies out because someone told them something about me (and I can almost always tell because the school isn't that big). As a freshman, I made some mistakes, and since I have grown a lot, but I feel like women (sorority girls really) here are so unforgiving and quick to judge that it makes it hard to keep peoples attention other than some maybe wanting to maybe hook up. What can I do to redeem myself and change girls minds about me ?

A. I'm not gonna sugar coat this one. For your game to be this negatively affected by here say, what they've been told and are then repeating must be pretty bad.

In other words, you are probably known as a drunk creeper; or worse. Your allusion to some “mistakes made as a freshman” give me the grounds to say that.

You're gonna need something pretty drastic to reverse the momentum at which your reputation is soaring towards the point of no return.

So first things first, quit creepin'. Secondly, find a female ally- one who you aren't sexually attracted to. If you get a lady friend by your side who will defend your honor and reputation, it will help to slowly reverse your stigma in the public light. Finally, don't try too hard. If you worry about it and over analyze you're just going to make things harder for yourself. Everyone fucks up at some point, and you've been smart enough to realize what your mistakes were. So for that, I applaud you.

Q: Simple question: How do you go about picking up girls at a frat party dance floor? I'm a brother in a fraternity but I legit have no game. Do you go the random grinding route on the dance floor?

A: Attack grinding is never encouraged. That's how you end up being the guy mashing his man parts against the back of some disinterested chick; oblivious to the confused and disgusted look on her face and her friends snickering in the corner. Bad for business. You've gotta start somewhere, so establish some initial eye contact across the room. Maybe throw her a smile. You're a brother, so ask if you can grab her a beer. Once you initiate some conversation the dancing should fall into place naturally. Don't force the grind. Remember that.

Q: Not to offend you or anything, but I can't exactly imagine that you're a “babe”. Telling chicks not to dress slutty on Halloween? I personally have never met any true “babe”that would talk so negatively.

A: Oh contraire, naive breau. Anyone can dress like a slut, holiday or not- even fat chicks. Old fucking news.

But if you have the confidence to dress like a homeless person, dude, or other non-sexual figure, you're saying you just don't give a fuck. I encourage you to wear a boustier and angel wings on the streets of New York and see if you maintain the same perspective. Life is ridiculous enough when getting hollered at by construction workers is the norm on a regular day. I feel no need to exacerbate that further.  And yeah, for all you know I'm not a babe. These types of jobs usually come with the requirements of, “Must be attractive and knowledgeable; but its cool if you're fat and dumpy too.”

Q: So last year on my 21st birthday I meet this girl at the bar and we hit it off pretty well. She's sarcastic, great tits and just an all around really cool chick. We ended up hanging out the next night, and then we talked throughout Thanksgiving break. I'm thinking things are going really well. The Friday after we get back, we go on a date and ended up spending the night afterwards, which was probably a mistake. Since I really liked her and I thought she liked me, I, like a dumbass, asked her where she thought this was going, relationship wise. We ended up hanging out one last time and then she just stopped talking to me. Do you think it was the relationship question that freaked her out or do you think she just got bored? Any of your insight would be helpful as well!

A: Plain and simple, you scared this chick right away. Look; You can be boring as hell and she's still probably going to go on more than one date with you, if only for the free meal and ensuing oral sex.

You sir, failed to play it cool on this one. And ya fucked it up real good. In most situations I endorse behaving in a straightforward and gentlemanly manner but damn- where's the intrigue, the suspense? Don't hand over your emotions on a $1.00 scratch off after one night of love making. That's just not good practice. I regret to inform you that you've probably scared this one off for good. Think it's a lost cause. This time start from scratch and avoid all urges to profess your love after the first date.

Q: So there's these two girls in one of my classes who I've become friends with. I definitely like one way better than the other. She's better looking, she laughs at my jokes and is just in general way more likable (the other one barely says shit). I ran into the one I like at the bar a few days ago and had a solid conversation with her, but she made a couple references for me to “go find” her shitty friend. Anyways, I ended up seeing the other one and she was for sure down to fuck but in the end I didn't because a) I don't wanna ruin my chances with the other girl and b) this ones a raging skank who will fuck anyone. Should I just bite the bullet next time and go for the girl I'm not too fond of, or does it sound like I have a chance with the other one? Does it sound like the other one might be down or has she just been playing wingman for her friend this whole time?

A: Let's just be clear that just because she laughs at your jokes doesn't tilt the scale in favor of her being the better option of the two. Nor does it mean your jokes are actually entertaining.

Alright. Just wanted to get that out there.

Let me also say that by not assigning names to either girl in this scenario and instead referring to both of them as “the other one” you've made my task of deciphering the most fruitful advice to pas infinitely more difficult. Thank me later for my dedication.

To cut to the chase here, you clearly are not interested in the girl you describe as less attractive, less talkative and skanky. So why would you consider blowing any chances you had with the girl you actually like just to get your dick wet? I don't know if you've got a shot with the superior girl or not. But if you've got even the slightest glimpse of one, hooking up with her slutty counterpart will completely negate it. And that's a rule to remember.

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