Back to school is an exciting time of year for everyone. For students in general, it means they get to return to the pure glory that is college life. For parents, it means their newly, terrifyingly alcoholic demon children have finally left again, and will no longer be returning home five nights a week at 3AM, hammered drunk on Natty plus however many shots they took, and also maybe a little high, and waking up everyone in the house because they’re too shitfaced to remember how doors work. Sometimes you just have to slap it until it opens, you guys. That might be too specific to my experiences. Greeks are excited for back-to-school because it means sorority rush, bid day parties, tailgates and more. And, of course, GDI newspaper columnists are excited because it’s a chance to write shitty, uninformed articles about Greek Life.