College
by J. Camm on October 12, 2011

First of all, the 4% rise in liquor consumption (shown below), is wholly attributed to men choosing straight whiskey over beer. Manly, hair-growth-type shit. So that argument ends right there. No need to revisit.

The wine consumption, however, is purely strategic. Just because a man is buying a bottle of wine doesn't necessarily mean it's for him. Women drink a shit load of wine — it's their beer — so keeping a bottle or box (if that's your budget) on hand is never out-of-bounds. Plus drinking wine isn't completely terrible, in the right setting. If your out at a bar watching football with your buddies and you're ripping through glass-after-glass of their house red — which, by the way, is their only red — then you've got some f*cking issues/problems. But having a glass of wine at a nice restaurant won't make you look like a career dick licker.

Lastly, nothing on the below adds up to 100%. Where is the other 6 – 7% being allocated? Mikes Hard? Twisted Tea? Bartles and Jaymes? Where, Gallup, WHERE!?

And another thing, it's good to see that Gallup knows what the f*ck is up. Way to factor in those illegal teens. However, next time don't kid yourselves with that 18-year-old starting age. You need to factor in the habits of anyone who has left the 4th grade.

@JCammBB

Hat Tip: Guyism