I think it’s important to sum up what being in a fraternity is about, and why we pledge. We don’t take pledges because they’re cool guys or they can drink a lot. We take pledges based on the content of their character. Can you survive the hell we’re about to put you through? Are you worthy of our energy? Can you party like Charlie Sheen, pound like Wilt Chamberlain, work a room like Sinatra, and command a board of directors like Warren Buffett? Will you do something with your life? If these questions lead to “yes,” then you’ll get a chance to prove yourself. GDIs (I know y’all are reading this), let’s get one thing straight: I don’t think I’m better than you. I know for a fact that I’m better than you. In fact, this goes for anyone reading this. I’d probably party with most of y’all. I’d hang out with a few of y’all. But make no mistake, I am better than you, and if you don’t think the same thing about yourself in regard to me, then I don’t want to know you. We aren’t better because we drink a lot. We aren’t better because we have money. We aren’t better because we pledged hard. We aren’t better because we don’t have to buy drinks to get pussy, even though all of these things are true. We’re better because we know we’ll go on to build empires. We’re better because we don’t doubt ourselves. We’re better because we have the secrets, we have the grip, we have the tradition and – most importantly – we have the character of champions.
Douchiest comment about being in a fraternity ever? Pretty sure attitudes like this makes everyone involved with Greek Life look bad. But that' s just my opinion, man! You guys can discuss in the comments.
Update: It's been pointed out that this is a copy and paste from a satirical post our Bros at Total Frat Move did a couple years back. That's a relief.