College
by Brandon Wenerd on April 1, 2014

springbreak

This might be the most “sorry for partying” news segment in broadcast news history. Sean Hannity sent Fox News’ Ainsley Earhardt to Panama City Beach, Florida to report on the shameless drunken college debauchery that goes down during spring break. She asks a bunch of kids — all with deep, notable Southern drawls — about the wildest things they’ve seen at PCB. The answers are what you’d expect: “chicks twerking,” “two girls on five guys,””a girl snort cocaine off another girl’s buttholein public.” The footage peaks when Earhardt talks to some good ole’ boy with a Dixie draw who says he just smoked up before running over to the camera.

Shameless. So shameless, you’ll laugh at how it’s almost a caricature of spring break. Hannity’s moral outrage during the discussion at the end is typical Fox News. He’s just trying to lay it out to your grandparents how much of a degenerate your spring break actually was. See, they need it told from an old fuddyduddy like him to completely absorb just how much of a Jekyll and Hyde you college kids are these days.

Hey Hannity, at least they’re not sugarcoating it! Theyyyyyyyy’rrrrrreeee toooooooooo shmaccccccccccckeeeeddddddd

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Brandon Wenerd

About Brandon Wenerd...

Brandon Wenerd is BroBible's senior editor, guru of @brotips, and director of strategic partnerships. He joined BroBible in the fall of 2009 after graduating from Penn State. When he’s not writing, Brandon enjoys fishing, Phish, Philly sports, Dewey Beach, supporting live music, hot sauce, and beer. E-mail him with post ideas and news tips: brandon@brobible.com.