I consider myself a pretty socially progressive person. But this just boggles the mind: Harvard is set to give official recognition to a student club dedicated to BDSM and kinky sex enthusiasts.
It was announced in the Harvard Crimson today that the group "Munch" the name of the group given the honors. By no less than the Committee on Student Life:
It started last October with a meal in Currier dining hall with a handful of friends who shared something in common: an affinity for kinky sex. More than a year after the group first began informally meeting over meals to discuss issues and topics relating to kinky sex, Harvard College Munch has grown from seven to about 20 members and is one of 15 student organization that will be approved by the Committee on Student Life this Friday.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around this. For the first time in my life, I feel like Rick Santorum: A little scared, a little confused, a little wide-eyed. I'm finally the guy unable to process the events of a changing world. A BDSM club? Really? That? So, since I'm having difficulty providing any context to this story, and since the majority of my experiences with Harvard have come through viewings of the 2010 film "The Social Network," I'll attempted to explain the Crimson's piece through quotes from the movie.
"You don't know my name, do you?"
"Is it Stanford?"
In this scene from "The Social Network," Sean Parker has just woken up beside a beautiful girl he met at a frat party the night before. She asks if he remembers her name. He acts at first like he cannot recall the name, then finally acknowledges that her name is Amelia.
Similarly, members of Munch enjoy pretending that they do not know who their sex partners are when acting out rape fantasies. Before finding official recognition from Harvard, they had to act out sex acts with their own "Stanfords" without support from the university. This wasn't safe.
"Eduardo, it's like a Final Club except we're the president."
Much like Mark Zuckerberg realized, in conversation with Eduardo Saverin, that Facebook could be their own Final Club, members of Munch realized they could form their own club to compare BDSM safety tips. Facebook would be a place for Zuckerberg to find greatness at Harvard. Munch would be a place for kinky sex enthusiasts to keep the auto-erotic asphyxiation rate low.
"As for any charges stemming from the breach of security, I believe I deserve some recognition from this board."
After creating the ethically iffy "Facemash," Zuckerberg wanted recognition from Harvard's cyber-security team for exposing the flaws in their system. Munch also wanted recognition for their club that will expose flaws in whip design.
"Do you realize that you jeopardized the entire company? Do you realize that your actions could have permanently destroyed everything I've been working on?"
Saverin froze the account and the SERVERS WENT DOWN even though THE SERVERS NEVER GO DOWN. This jeopardized the future of Facebook. The members of Munch also initially failed in receiving recognition from Harvard after "troubles finding a stable adviser and problems with their constitution." Both Facebook and Munch looked like they were on unstable footing right after their inception.
My brother and I pay tuition at this school, we carry a 3.9 GPA at this school, we've won trophies for this school and we'll be rowing in the Olympics for this school. I want a meeting with the goddam president of this school.
But Munch bucked up, fixed their problems, and got their Harvard recognition. Just like the Winklevii got their meeting with Larry Summers.
You don't even know what the thing is yet. How big it can get, how far it can go. This is no time to take your chips down. A million dollars isn't cool, you know what's cool?
Kinky sex, to members of Munch. Now that they've received college approval.
Whew. Okay. I'm good now. I can process the story. Thanks for going through this with me.
[H/T: The Crimson]
