It’s that magical time again: the weekend. The days dedicated to slacking off, hooking up, and going ham. We know you have been looking forward to it since, literally, the last one, and we are right there with you. We know that feel bro. How can anyone manage to go for five whole days without partying? We definitely couldn’t (hello Taco Tuesday and Twelve-Pack Thursday). Don’t worry though, we’re here to make sure you take advantage of the fact that you have no responsibilities and don’t want to wake up on Monday feeling like you remember too much of Friday and Saturday. Weekends should never be taken for granted. In the words of Florence Welch, “Hands up if you’re ready to do something you’ll regret this weekend!” We’ve covered all the bases you’ll need to make sure you have an epic time, every time.
You Need to Have a Lot of Booze.
This ingredient should be a given. If you were seriously planning to stay sober at the end of the week then you have some bigger issues we can’t fix. Loosen up, kick back, and drink up! Chug a beer right now if you were considering taking it easy. Just like Tommy Fresh, we think you seriously need to “treat yo’self!” Stock up on your favorite brews or mixed drinks (vodka tonics or whiskey sours are the only mixed drinks that you should be considering) and sample something new. Adding a new kind of booze to broaden your taste buds is what we call research, and it is very important. The weekend should be a time for celebration, specifically self-celebration, because you are awesome and deserve to kick down a few newspaper stands and eat some burritos after getting kicked out of the bar for the third time. Don’t have any good drink ideas? We recommended vodka for a good time and tequila for a really good time. Yes, we’re talking about shots, who drinks actual drinks anymore? What is this, high school?
Every Party Should Have an Epic Playlist
Bumping tunes all week long is key to not losing momentum and passing out like it’s your first beer. Sure, we know you’re exhausted from kicking ass at your job, but the weekend is your time to rage. No good hook-ups happen before midnight anyways, trust us. A constant stream of blaring rap, pop, and techno beats should keep your heart bumping and your fist pumping. Turn it up loud and take advantage of the fact that you can’t get the cops called on you until the sun sets, aka we definitely encourage day drinking and telling your neighbors to go suck a fat one. Without music, specifically good music, a party is sure to be a total bust. No one wants to grind in silence, or take handle pulls listening to Justin Bieber. That just ain’t right. Check out our playlists if you think you can’t come up with a set that lasts 48 hours straight. We wouldn’t leave you hanging.
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