Here is his heartbreaking dispatch:
Subject: Bro Travesty
Message: Dear Brother,
Today, I would like to inform you of a great travesty occurred. One of the great Frat Castles of this nation has closed its doors, due to under-minding of the Purdue University Administration. The Beta Mu chapter of Beta Theta Pi was thrown off of campus due to excessive bro-ness. Betas have been gracing Purdue's campus with their presence, and fucking bitches, and issuing stitches since 1903. Today was the day the music died. Beta Theta Pi was thrown off for violations of alcohol and hazing regulations, a.k.a being fucking awesome. This has been the saddest day in my life since Barry O became president. This should be a lesson to us all; lose lips, sink ships. This is a prime example of how one wiener, can ruin a great thing for everyone. I will forever be a Beta, and I am damn glad to be a Beta.
Since “excessive bro-ness” and “being fucking awesome” seem like pretty trivial reasons for discipline, I did a little digging. As it turns out, the university has a slightly different interpretation of what’s going on.
A Purdue University fraternity house is being shut down because of complaints about hazing and alcohol abuse.
Officials say the Beta Theta Pi fraternity's national organization is suspending the Purdue chapter until May and that some 50 members will have to move from its campus house by the end of the fall semester in December. The chapter will then be on probation through 2014.
Purdue associate dean of students Jeff Stefancic says a review found chapter members carried out demeaning hazing and made alcohol available to underage drinkers at events.
Chapter president Jared Shively tells the Purdue Exponent he doesn't believe the punishment is fair and that officials were looking to make an example of it.
All of this, of course, is of no use to our distraught tipster, who is clearly having the worst day ever.