Being Too Active On Social Media

Not being accustomed to growing up with readily available pictures of other people’s food, a parent who gains access to your various social media accounts will likely draw two conclusions; one, that their child is somewhat despicable (a realization that first occurs when they see their kid throwing f-bombs around the internet at age eleven, which slowly progresses to the early college years, when grandiose statements about very specific life events become displayed on statuses for all to see), or two, that as much as someone can like the show “30 Rock,” how many Jack Donaghy GIFs can a person seriously post?

Important to note though--these are the parents who have normal/uninvolved IQs when it comes to social media usage. There is of course, an entire subset of parents who have absolutely zero idea of the rules when it comes to shit like Facebook. Heavily entertaining for friends, but well beyond embarrassing for that parent’s offspring. You know who you are. 

Having Your Credit Card Bill Sent to Your House

Whether it’s a pack of condoms, a credit card statement that reads only of liquor store purchases and bar tabs, or the answer to what you spent all that extra money you said you needed for textbooks, this is NEVER a good idea.

Of course, if your/your parents bank account is based back at your growing pains suburb of choice, this is virtually unavoidable. Meaning that if you want to make it out of college without being branded with that strange looking iron-thing in your garage, pay for everything with cash.

Drunk Dialing

Depending on your parents, this might be endearing at first. Except that “at first” fuses into “at second,” and at second is when those dumb “it’s all fun and games until someone (insert over the top phrase here)” t-shirts from a few years back come into play.

If you’re making this a recurring thing, the range of emotions from other side will read very much like a defeated spouse---first annoyed, then bubbling dangerously, then boiling, then boiling some more, then BOOM, then exhausted, and finally, just helpless.

Being Completely Honest

Do they really want to know what you do instead of attending class? Or what you do when you’re in class? Or, how you took the money they gave you for a gym membership and spent it on a rub and tug?

In the words of Sydney Fife, there are simply some things that we should choose not to tell. Particularly when it comes to talking to people that are for some reason, proud of us.

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