We like to think that our parents love us. But as college gets the best of us, it's pretty easy to put that to the test time and time again:

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Doing What You Love

“Following Your Passion” is what we’ve been raised to do. But what are our passions really? Starting our own business, writing, acting, cooking? In simpler terms, “following your passion" = doing something that’s very difficult to succeed in, while also requiring considerable and prolonged financial support.

By “doing what you love” you're essentially pulling the ultimate financial ploy. Because as long as it appears like you’re making an effort, no parent who truly loves their kid could pull the plug on his or her hopes and dreams without completely questioning their self worth, and/or entire purpose of their existence. At that point, you may as well not have a kid. 

Acquire Different Political Beliefs

I would assume that for a father, the moment your son is old enough to have intelligent discussions is a relatively proud one. The sort of thing that begins to blossom in the latter years of high school, but only fully takes form on your semesterly breaks at home, going in on some topic from your Applied Business and Economic Class. You, finding yourself in a situation where it’s socially advantageous to have insights about theories and things, and proceed to lay it all on the line--suddenly realizing that your political beliefs--the de facto religious bible in some households--are totally different from that of your old man.

To certain fathers, I’ve gotta think that this is the ultimate slap in the face. All those subtle brainwashing attempts for the past 15 fifteen years, completely for naught. 

Too Many Dry Spells

Think about it. As much as your dad may warn you that any hint of getting a girl pregnant will be met with a swift guillotine, he also doesn't want to learn that you, his seed, lacks the ability to get some. Too much failure in this realm will make a father question his own manhood, and will make your mother question how desperate she must’ve been to go out with a guy who clearly does not have the genetic makeup to close. Bad vibes all around.

Inviting Your Mom into Your House

No matter how proud you may be that your pans are no longer lined with permanent egg scraps, or that there are only three articles of clothing on the floor instead of the usual 16, your Mom will react the state of your house like most people react to learning that a loved one has just been in a terrible accident. The much shittier, and exponentially more forlorn version of McKayla Maroney.

(Not only will she be unimpressed. She’ll be devastated)

College Kid Drinking Image via Shuttershock