College
by Thomas on August 7, 2013

A college bucket list is the perfect way to make life happen while attending your first year of college. It gives you a road map of the things you should spend time trying to accomplish rather than just sitting around studying and playing Call of Duty. 

Going to college is a huge change in a person's life. Everything starts to change on day one and it doesn't stop until you are too old to realize how much you missed out on. So don't be a tool, have fun with this list. Make your own. All you need is a piece of paper and a pen then write down a list of things you want to do before next summer. It is that simple.

But to get your started, here are the 25 things you HAVE to do before you enter your second year.

25. Eat an Entire Pizza, Alone.

Most people can probably already do this one but have never attempted to. As a college freshman, you will have plenty of free time so why not set aside one night to watch bad horror movies and eat an entire pizza. The toppings are up to you. Just make sure it is you and you alone that accomplishes this feat. If you get another person to assist, it is meaningless to the list.

24. Attend a Sorority House Foam Party

Having been to a foam party, the one thing we can tell you is that you are guaranteed to get laid. Just remember one thing, don't ever bring a woman to a Sorority Foam Party. Let that be your first lesson in life. Trust us, there will be girls willing to party at this event. Would you bring sand to the beach? 

23. Go to a Bar, Get into a Fight, Get Kicked Out of That Bar

No one is telling you to go to a crappy bar, get into a random fight, and then have three former WWE wrestlers bounce your ass out of there. But we aren't telling you to not do that either. It comes down to one thing, do you want to live or do you want to survive? Because getting into a bar fight is living Bro's.

22. Learn to Speak Another Language (Just the Bad Words)

Spanish, French, or Italian. If you can learn to speak any of those three languages, it doesn't even matter what you are saying to a woman, she is already going to be impressed. Just make sure you aren't speaking nonsense. It has to make some kind of sense just in case she happens to speak it too. You don't want to end up in a battle of wits with someone that can speak another language.

21. Get a Chick To Eat a Banana While Also Competing in a Wet T-Shirt Contest

This isn't so much a to-do as it is something every man should encounter before he turns 21 years of age. You can knock out two birds with one stone on this one. The kicker is convincing the girl to eat the banana during her time on stage. That is going to be where the fun comes in. You have to get a girl to eat a banana during the competition, you can't just watch and expect it to happen. This list isn't that easy.

20. Sneak into a Casino

Don't get arrested. If you sneak into a casino and blame us for telling you to, you're an idiot. You have to be stealthy and suave. If you think a fake ID might work, think again. This one is going to need planning and quite possibly a hot chick or two to distract the guards at the door. And beleive us, it isn't that hard to distract a man when a pretty lady starts to flirt with him.

19. Lie and Tell Someone You are a Professor

You are probably wondering what we mean by someone. It's a girl dummy. Convince a girl that you are teaching Psych 2002 or something else not important enough for someone to analyze. Chicks dig professors especially the freshman chicks you might find at a party. 

18.  Skip a Class for No Other Reason Than to Sleep

This is obviously the first thing you will end up crossing off your list. Some classes will suck so bad you won't be able to attend for more than 15 minutes before fleeing for your life. Those classes are also the early ones and the ones most likely to be skipped so have a friend that can sign you in and then don't even bother setting an alarm.

17. Go Streaking During a Live Sports Event

Again, no one is telling you to do something that will get you arrested. However, if you decide to attend the school's swim meet and spontaneously strip down to your birthday suit and jump in, no one here will get mad. In fact, you might end up becoming an internet star. So make sure to do some crunches first.

16. Do a Bar Crawl

Getting drunk at one bar is fine. But what about getting drunk at one bar after another after another after another and so on? Bar crawls are about as American as hot apple pie and Kate Upton. The whole night will be spent drinking at one bar before someone tells you it is time to move on. Then commence drinking at the next bar. It is so much fun you might end up doing this weekly.

15. Grow a Beard

Real men have beards. Have you not seen the Gifs? You can wait until No-Shave November or you can man up and start growing one today. Either way, if you don't have a beard by the end of Freshman year, you are doing it wrong.

14. YOLO

Don’t ever use that word. Ever. If you use it, you should find a place to hide and go pour hot wax on your head. That word sucks in every size, shape, and form.

Click below for the rest of the College Freshman Bucket List

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13. Get Bent for the First Time in Your Life

Sorry for the college slang here but bent strictly means being intoxicated or high. If you spent your high school days in the books and not at the parties, then get your ass to a bar and get bent up like it is no one’s business.

12. Clean the Freshman Facebook Out

Not everyone is going to be able to accomplish this feat. In fact, most men will not. Cleaning out the Freshman Facebook means sleeping with all the freshman girls. It is legendary if you can manage to accomplish this feat as only a few have ever been able to. It isn't going to be easy but the best things in life aren't.

11. Get Drunk in Class

Is that a water bottle or rum container? Since this is college, you won't even have to try to hide the alcohol that great. Just use a McDonald's cup or something Lance Armstrong has on his bikes and go to town. For extra points, bring along some friends who aren't even in the class to drink along with you. Shit, make up a drinking game and go nuts. 

10. Skip a Class to Have Sex

Remember earlier when we said to skip class to sleep? Well, this is skipping class for sex, a feat most men accomplish daily. If you have that girl willing to day time, you mine as well give it a go and make the most of it. Don't waste college by saying no all the time, this time say yes. You can always buy the notes online.

9. Discover What Sexile Means

You can thank your roommate for this one but for those of you without a clue about the word Sexile, let us explain. It simply means you are banned from the room because your roommate is having sex. If your roommate is getting laid every night of the week, don't be mad, get even. Start bringing girls over earlier in the day and throw the Sexile right back at him.

8. Find Someone to be Your Slam Piece

Sure, this is going to make the list but does it even have to? Are you really not already hoping to find a slam piece, aka sex buddy, for your first semseter in college? That should be a requirement for every man. Of course you want to have a no-brainer, that makes life so much simplier. You have no idea how much fun life can be when you have a fall back girl.

7. Become a Beer Pong King

College is not complete until you become a legend in beer pong. It is a simple game that combines your athletic skills with beer drinking. If you can manage to handle them both, you can become a master of beer pong. 

6. Start a Protest for Something You Don’t Care About

Protests are a terrific way to meet women. Most men that are at protests are only there to begin with because of a woman. If you don't beleive us, go to a protest at your school and look around. There will always be more women and the men know just about as much as you do about what is going on. Go ahead. Try it.

5. Do a Keg Stand, Naked

Don't ask us how or when but we have been there. Not all dares should be followed but this one is just simply too great. Streaking can be fun but naked keg stands are just plain awesome. You try finding a friend willing to hold you up while your dangling modifier flaps in the wind. That is true friendship ladies.

4. The Walk of Shame

The Walk of Shame is an honor for men. If we see a woman walking back to her dorm after a night of partying, wearing the same clothes she had on the night before, we secretly high five each other. But for a man, the Walk of Shame isn't a mark of disgust, it is a badge of honor. Those secret high fives end up becoming real high fives as you stroll across the campus. You might even have a guy or two hand you some food and water.

3. Get a Hummer in Public

We aren’t telling you to go out and get a hummer while walking down Times Square in NYC. Come on now, use common sense on this one. If you want it to work, however, you might have to put some effort into the woman this time.

2. Use the Library for Sexual Adventures

This one takes a certain type of man. Not any man can find himself a girl willing to explore her sexuality in the library. But for those of us who can take full advantage of the situation and have some fun with it. Every library at every college campus has one spot or floor that rarely gets used, start there. 

1. Road Trip with your Buddies

This is the ultimate thing any Bro should do during his first year in college. It is a rite of passage. Take a road trip anywhere, the destination does not matter. Plan to go to somewhere far enough away that you have no connections to your past life. You don't want to be hooking up with a girl that just so happens to be cousins with your old lady, right? Road trips are just as fun as you can imagine so get it together and go on one before the end of Freshman year. You will not regret it.

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