You'd think that with the popularity of buzzwords in our culture that shoving a few hundred into your resume would only increase your chances of landing a job. You'd think that, but you'd be wrong. Or that is at least what the godless fuckers at LinkedIn are saying with their annual list of words that are most overused in resumes. Personally, I'm a fan of buzzwords. Sure, they're super douche-y, but the people that use them are also a helluva lot of fun to mock.
LinkedIn's 10 Most Overused Words In Resumes
6. Extensive Experience
5. Track Record
1. Problem Solving
First of all, I'm a little upset that synergy isn't on this list. I guess it's not really a "resume" word but we've got a guy in our office that is a habitual claimer of synergies. I'm sure there is a line on his resume, somewhere, that says, "Responsible for identifying synergies between BroBible and other organizations." EVERYTHING CANNOT BE SYNERGISTIC, YOU ASSHOLE! Secondly, for 2013, I would like for all of you "job-seekers" to do everything in your power to make sure "cross-pollination" finds it's way into your resume and onto this list. I recently received a buzzword heavy email from someone and I felt the need to troll him so I broke it out in my response. Had to have blown his fuckin' mind when he saw it:
Great to meet you virtually as well. I took a look at your product, I can see the obvious synergies you were referencing in your email and, after much consideration, I definitely think there are ways to cross-pollinate. Let's tee up a call for tomorrow.