College
by BroBible Staff on March 14, 2014

dayton-st-pattys-3

Editor’s Note: This originally ran last year, but with at least a dozen college kids celebrating St. Patrick’s Day this weekend—a dozen is a fair estimate, right?—we thought it’d be fun to rerun one of our most popular lists ever.

The list below is based on a few defining factors:

1. How nationally “famous” is your St. Patrick’s Day party? You may say that you and your bros get “totally wasted” with “perfectly nothing-to-be-ashamed-of chicks” every March 17, but we needed a little bit of other evidence—be it newspaper articles, emails from concerned deans, criminal documents—to corroborate your claims.

2. Are there ample pictures or video of a St. Patrick’s Day celebration? Did we find said picture or video “pretty sweet?”

3. Did your schools’ undergrads/alumni make your case well? Could we taste the Guinness as we read your emails? Could we hear the distant, echoing womp-womps of your day parties as we watched your “I’m Shmacked” videos? Sense memory here, people. When you’re washed up like us, it’s all you’ve got.

Alright, here we go.

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15. “Kegs and Eggs,” SUNY Albany

Your Take: None

Our Take: SUNY Albany kicks off our list with a bang. By which we mean a no-holds-barred riot.

In 2011, Albany paid host to its annual “Kegs and Eggs” celebration. This particular year, things got nasty. Cars were destroyed. Appliances were thrown out of second-floor windows. And, at the end of the day, policemen carried off 16 tons of debris.

Before the infamous incident, Albany was known for a fun, relatively non-controversial St. Patrick’s Day party. Now, it’s controversial enough to have the cops on high-alert. So it must be a big deal at the school, yes?

Yes. No. 15 worthy.

(Sidenote: That 2011 Gothamist post also contains an amazing moment of Internet foreshadowing. Its last paragraph reads: “SUNY Albany administrators also cancelled the annual ‘Fountain Day celebration,’ outraging many students who objected to the collective punishment. According to the Times Union, ‘a 41-year-old student chained himself to the fountain.’ That’s correct, a 41-year-old student chained himself to a fountain in Albany to protest a party being canceled.”

That student? SHOENICE HIMSELF. Seriously! Shoenice chained himself to a fountain to protest a party from being canceled. This is like finding an album Elvis recorded when he was 16.)

14. St. Patrick’s Day, University of Delaware

Your Take: None.

Our Take: Delaware is widely known for packing its city bars—Kildare’s especially—and off-campus houses to the max each St. Paddy’s Day. Last year, neighbors complained of the excessive noise and public intoxication at 10 a.m., and you look for that kind of record on lists like this.

Plus, look at that crowd!

13. St. Patrick’s Day Parade, Boston Schools

Your Take: “Most people in Boston go to the parade in Southie, get hammered, and try to act like Mark Wahlberg.” — Dan, Boston College

Our Take: There are no large school-specific St. Patrick’s Day celebrations in Boston (Massachusetts’ turn is coming a little bit later), but we’re dealing here with a city that boasts the most colleges per capita, as well as one of the country’s largest Irish populations—it’s a St. Paddy’s tinderbox.

A very public good time, in fact, has definitely been had by college kids over the last few years. So good that state representatives are now begging kids to not turn South Boston into Mardi Gras. “Thousands of visitors join us each year for this wonderful tradition and we welcome them,” state representative Nick Collins said, in letters to the presidents of Northeastern, Emerson, Boston College, Harvard, Wentworth, UMass Boston, Boston University and Suffolk. “We do not, however, welcome the Mardi Gras-like atmosphere that has accompanied them in recent years.”

We’ll see how that works out.

12. St. Patrick’s Day Week, Missouri University of Science and Technology

Your Take: “Ten-day long celebration. Two days off school. Used to hold Guinness world record for most alcohol consumed in a three day weekend before GBWR stopped keeping track of alcohol related records. Ten straight days of getting wasted and partying.” — Casey, Missouri S&T

Our Take: We’d be lying if we said we knew a ton about the Missouri University of Science and Technology before looking into their St. Patrick’s Day Party. But damnit if the Miners don’t seem to have a quality March 17. According to the school’s Wikipedia page, the event is the “predominant cultural event of the year”—an occasion featuring mass murder of rubber snakes, two days off school, and much green beer consumed.

And, according to reader Casey, the party did once hold the Guinness World Record for most alcohol consumed during a three-day period. This fact, unfortunately, is more unverifiable than your typical 2005 Wikipedia entry.

11. St. Patrick’s Day, University of Colorado

Your Take: [Four submission forms left blank with “CU-BOULDER!!!” written at the top.]

Our Take: Tales of incredible excess come to us second-hand from the High State—tales of massive, un-human quantities of green beer consumed, tales of bros peeing green-colored urine on the 18th, and, of course, tales of enormous, non-sanctioned apartment parties.

One apartment complex was the scene of a truly legendary party during last year’s holiday. As a tipster at the time said, “Some kid was actually at the party playing the bagpipes. Music was blasting, people were going nuts, spilling beer everywhere…. All students also got an email on St. Patrick’s day titled “Tonight,” saying this: ‘This St. Patrick’s Day: Root for the Buffs. Party safely. Look out for each other. Get home alive and well.

“Brought to you by the Dean of Students and the Vice Chancellor for Student Affairs.’”

10. Parade Day, Binghamton University

Your Take: “Our party is extra special because almost all of campus gets fucked up starting at about 8 am. We then go downtown already trashed and start the pre-game parties for the big parade. By the time the parade comes, we’re all feeling saucy and ready to party our asses off some more.” — Michael, Binghamton

“As people pack in by the hundreds, the destruction begins. TVs, printers and kegs are tossed out windows liberally. Pianos are smashed, and fireworks are lit off. When the police finally do show up, it’s straight to the bars at State Street, where you remember you were there but don’t actually remember being there.” — Kevin, Binghamton

Our Take: Parade Day falls on the first Saturday of March, and is notable for featuring a strange scene: Thousands of people walking around the off-campus, with Irish coffees and brews in hand, at 8 a.m. By the end of the day, some reports say that 50,000 students and locals are packed into a party on State Street.

(Also, we’d be remiss not to say it: Multiple tipsters emailed us to say that the rugby team traditionally deserves special commendation for throwing an annual 10-keg party. They’re just making up for ruining a PERFECTLY GOOD football.)

9. Blarney Blowout, UMass Amherst

Your Take: “Blarney Blowout can be split into two parts. People hit the bars in the morning. Then from noon to 5 pm thousands of kids descend upon the townhouse courtyard for an epic rage. This year the state police along with riot personnel had to break it up. It is an all around awesome time.

We also have a dude playing fucking bagpipes. Irish as fuck.” — David, UMass

“It’s basically like the Tour De France for your liver.” — Brett, UMass

Our Take: That video above? A Dropkick Murphys song come to life.

And while, yeah, there are many, many dudes we see in the frame, keep this in mind—sometimes you’ve got to just break some shit sans chicks, you know? Get animalistic with it.

8. Scranton Parade Day, University of Scranton

Your Take: “Car bombs are flowing at 7:00 am. The entire city is completely smashed by noon.” — Brendan, Scranton

“Even though we don’t even go to the parade we ordered about 145 kegs for the best house parties of the year.” — Danny, Scranton

Our Take: Scranton is allegedly home to the second-largest St. Patrick’s day parade in the country. (The largest is New York’s.) Scranton is home to only 75,000 people. (New York is home to over eight million.) You can see where this is going: The town Michael Scott made famous gets pretty, pretty excited for this holiday.

Students at the university, along with thousands of friends and strangers from out of town, traditionally start the day with some good ole fashioned car bombs. And, as the day progresses, they’ll continue drinking beer and liquor, while maybe cataching a bit of the parade if they’re lucky.

If they’re not? It’s house party heaven.

7. State Patty’s Day, Penn State

Your Take: None.

Our Take: State Patty’s Day (actually held the last Saturday of February) is a few spots lower than it would be in a normal year. At its peak, the party was a premier college event, an occasion for State College’s pubs and bars to be completely overrun with raconteurs and drunkards.

Then, the ban hammer came down. All bars were banned from serving alcohol on February 23. Actually…. They weren’t banned, so much as bribed to the tune of 5 grand an establishment.

And, for 2013 at least, the massive celebration was relegated to just a few private apartment parties. But one BroBible writer remembers how great it once was, and how great it can be again. Alum Jared Freid:

“Why is State Patty’s Day the best? Simply, because of how it started. I mentioned this in a column a few weeks back, but State Patty’s Day was created out of a sheer will to drink. The administration tried to pull a fast one on the student body by planning Spring Break during St Patrick’s Day so the student body collectively shook their finger side to side, Dikembe Mutombo-style, and created another day to drink for no reason. I’m sure every school has an awesome St Patty’s Day celebration. I’m sure they are just as crazy as Penn State’s. But how hard did they work to make that happen? Switching St Patty’s Day is like switching the rotation of the Earth. There’s a lot of momentum to push against.”

The best example is a hot college chick. She’s very into the schedule. She’s very into telling you “how totes cray cray finals have been. She doesn’t just drink unless the world is pushing for it. She doesn’t need “you’re sorta kinda St Patty’s Day” on a different day. The hot chick doesn’t come unless there’s a movement (repeat this to yourself whenever having sex).”

Well, consider the Penn State student body moved.”

6. Fake Patty’s Day, Kansas State

Your Take: “During Fake Patty’s, Aggieville, the local bar district at K-State, is blocked off because of how many people are partying. People come from all over the country to celebrate Fake Patty’s. I personally have met people from as far away as Alaska who came just for Fake Patty’s. It is such a big party that other universities sometimes send volunteer teams to help clean up after. The city of Manhattan has to bring in cops from around the state to help.” — Tanner, Kansas State

Our Take: A celebration that traditionally takes place the Saturday before Saint Patrick’s Day, Fake Patty’s Day begins at 6 a.m., attracts a WIDE swath of people across the country, and is known as Manhattan’s biggest day drinking event of the year. One news report from the 9th—which features one of the funniest pictures of a guy dancing in front of cops that you’ll ever see—said that, while arrests were unfortunately up 34%, thousands of people descended upon Aggieville for the revelry.

For that reason alone, we’d be willing to risk spending the night in a Manhattan jail.

5. St. Pat’s Five Points, South Carolina

Your Take: “They literally close off the whole Five Points, the downtown area, from any cars. Then they have like four-five concerts going on while everyone proceeds to get absolutely hammered. And that’s just the day, at night the bars are absolutely packed.” — Andrew, South Carolina

“No open container laws, this is the one day the entire year where cops aren’t arresting the college kids for drinking. Beer Vendors everywhere and if the $5 Green Bud Light tall boy is too much, go into any of the 21+ bars where they are selling cheap drinks all day. If the DT area gets a little too hectic for you, just walk 10 steps to the neighboring houses because every one of them is having a party. It is truly one of the best weekend to visit the city of Dreams, Columbia SC.” — Matt, South Carolina

Our Take: While it’s more of a city-wide party than just a college party…

… Ah, who are we kidding. The Gamecocks are definitely throwing down harder than anyone else in downtown Columbia.

4. Unofficial, Illinois

Your Take: “It has been said that more drinking occurs on Unofficial at U of I than during many other school’s entire year’s. People go to class and take quizzes wasted, campus police guard the large lecture halls, city police guard the residence halls, and best of all, the drinking goes on ALL DAY LONG. God bless America.” — Rob, Illinois

Our Take: Unofficial is commonly used to describe Illinois’ Friday party prior to St. Patrick’s Day (this year it took place on March 1). Bars open at 8 a.m. natch, kegs stay on front lawns all day long, and many, many Big Ten kids flood off buses and onto campus to help celebrate.

Adding to the charm of the festivities: Champaign’s notoriously killer bars.

3. Green Beer Day, Miami (of Ohio)

Your Take: “We start drinking at 2 a.m. and continue throughout the day and into the night. Thousands of students attend class absolutely hammered and with lips greener than a leprechaun’s dick.” — Garrett, Miami

“Craziest day of the year, starts at 3 a.m. and doesn’t end until 4 a.m. the next day. Absolutely dope parties that doesn’t stop all day.” — Jeremy, Miami

Our Take: Miami boasts bars that open the earliest of any on our list—5:00 a.m.—as well as one of the college party scene’s most admirably long-standing traditions. Green Beer Day began in 1952, and since the decline of modesty and temperance, it’s since become a huge, day-long party held the Thursday before Spring Break, boasting thousands of kids attending classes intoxicated, 18-20 straight hours of drinking, and countless house parties.

For this reason, Miami alums leave their school with a liver permanently died green.

2. St. Patrick’s Day, West Virginia

Your Take: “An unreal amount of house parties, huge frat parties, hot girls everywhere, #1 beer drinking school, #1 PARTY SCHOOL 2013…. Need I say more?” –John, West Virginia

Our Take: Did you watch that I’m Shmacked video?

I mean, John said it: What more can we say?

1. St. Patrick’s Day, University of Dayton

Your Take: “The University of Dayton might not sound much. We are a small school catholic school of around 8,000 undergrad. However on that magical day we all call St. Patrick’s our school triples in size and the student neighborhood we all call “the ghetto” floods with a sea of green. It is truly a sight to be seen.” — Wilson, Dayton

“Last year, the university was so terrified of what may potentially happen over St. Patty’s Day weekend, that the administration bough accidental death insurance for the weekend.” — Joseph, Dayton

“Classes or not, it is guaranteed that the music starts blaring at 4 a.m. with 40′s in hand prepping for Tim’s to open at 5. After everyone is nice and sauced up, Lowes St in THE GHETTO starts to fill with completely intoxicated patrons dressed in nothing but green. Thousands of your closest friends line the entire street to form the greatest party any school has ever seen. The sea of green, with beer and Jameson being passed around like its some sort of communal stash, parties to the beat of some drunkass bagpiper stumbling the streets in search of liquid gold for payment. UD cops have been seen shotgunning along side students, just for the hell of it.” – Branden, Dayton

“David Letterman said there are 4 places in the world to be for St. Paddy’s day… Dublin, Ireland, New York, NY, Chicago, IL and Dayton OH. The thing that makes UD so special for St. Paddy’s isn’t one specific party…. It’s the WHOLE university and most of Southern Ohio, that will migrate to UD’s student neighborhood aka “the ghetto.” A magical one big neighborhood and no parents are home. A school with roughly 8000 students living on campus will grow to 18,000 every St. Patricks day. All day the streets are filled with drinkers in green. Every house is open to anyone. Honestly, just follow the music and walk into a house and you’ll be thrown a fresh beer no questions asked. The administration sends out an email a couple weeks in advance  to all students’ parents [pictured above] urging them to speak with their little Dayton Fliers about not going too hard that day.

“Limitless beer is handed out to complete strangers” — CJ, Dayton

Our Take: This party received far more submissions than any other on our list. I think we get it. It’s a party for college kids and their friends at a small, close-knit school where everyone more or less knows each other. And, most important of all, it isn’t exclusive. Dayton’s St. Patrick’s Day is a chance for everyone to get drunk with each other at 4 a.m. and on—the frat kids, the freshman, the campus police (if Branden’s testimony is to be believed). The small school’s party is comparable with any of the big state school’s, which is pretty amazing for a Catholic university of 8,000.

For those reasons, Dayton’s St. Patrick’s Day takes the No. 1 spot on our list. Enjoy the weekend, bros.

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BroBible Staff

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  • jared

    white people…

  • classy11

    Forgot about Erin Express at Upenn and Drexel

  • Alex

    Scranton is in Pennsylvania, not New York

  • Phillip Marshall

    Forgot to mention Dayton’s riot last year!!!!

  • Mike

    The Binghamton & Scranton Parade days are actually the same parade (the NYC practice run), spread out over two weekends. Thousands of people usually go to both, making it probably the longest lasting St. Paddy’s drinking party in the North East.

  • Philly?

    Erin Express for West Philly schools! (UPenn,Drexel). Free buses that sell beer and go in a loop to the city bars and they have it 2 Saturdays in a row from morning till..however long you can last

  • Bryon

    In 1990, Dayton as a 12 seed stunned Illinois in the opening round. This Illinois team had three future NBA players on it. It was on St. Patrick’s Day. The bonfire in the center of Alberta and Kiefhaber burned so hot that the giant hole in the street was there after I graduated in December of ’91. In 1991, Lowes was the center of action and riot police lined up and flushed all students from the area.

  • Joe

    Gronk partied at KSU Fakepattys last year… I think yall need to revise our ranking!

  • John

    Missouri S&T has 106 years of being the BEST EVER! we may not have the size of parties but that is due to a smaller campus. but we have people come from all over the Midwest and Country to join us. We do more than just drink we do that every weekend. (not much to do besides drinking and math when you’re an engineer) 10 days of games, Shillelaghs, snake pits, and partying. Remember blood makes the grass grow! The average Rolla student’s ability out drink outsiders it pretty amazing. someone raging to black out would be the same amount of alcohol as a Rolla person casual drinking.

    • GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNN

      if you include the snake invasions it is 13 daze of madness. on the last day of our celebration we have a huge amount of alumni that paint the main street of our town with green paint and we have St. Pat and his court roaming all over town and the surrounding area for most of the 10 daze. And “WHAT MAKES THE GRASS GROW GREEN?????? BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • GreenMiner

        BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        8 Daze until the 106th Annual Best Ever St. Pats!!!!!!!!!!

  • Tommy

    Nobody is fucking with Rolla’s (Missouri S&T) ten day celebration. Nobody.

  • FigureItOut

    no Cal Poly SLO? are you kidding me? yikes you missed #1 big time. I dont even go there and that place is by far the craziest. bars open before the sun comes up, and if you can walk by sunrise you have truly defeated a giant.

  • Brittany Yantos

    I went to the University of Dayton- we are awesome.

  • James

    I’ve been to U of I during Unofficial. It was the biggest let down and joke for a drinking holiday of all time! My ass that more beer is drank in one day then other schools’ years. It went on for basically a day and they were so lame as to say the following day was “Unofficial Hangover Day” and the bars were EMPTY! I was expecting what this article was saying, but it was pretty lame.

    • Jack

      I go to U of I. Unofficial is the most over-hyped and overrated event ever. You described it to a point. The only thing this school has is a pretty good bar scene open to 19 year olds (which switched to 21 on unofficial on unofficial). The only reason we rank so high on party school lists is because we have so many underage drinking arrests at our bars.

  • Celtlaw

    Again for the uneducated: It’s “Paddy” not “Patty.”

  • I.Usually.Party

    IUP needs to be added to this list after this weekends rager. Its always this crazy, this year just finally got on the map with Brobible and Worldstar recognition.

  • Charlie Lutz
  • Springfield College Student

    Umass should be #1 Blarney is absolute chaos.. everyone’s blacked by 9am

  • MikeG

    As there is a photo from 2012 on here I’d like to add one from 1992…

  • UDalum