16. DT Kirbys - Purdue University
You ever walk into a restaurant hungover on a Sunday morning only for the restaurant's owner to call you a "pussy" if you don't do a shot of Jameson with him? I had never had that experience until a buddy and I staggered over to Lafayette, IN's finest dive bar, DT Kirby's. In addition to the complimentary shot of Jamo for those with visually explicit hangovers, DT Kirby's serves up the kind of food that Karl Welzein (aka @DadBoner) only WISHES he could dream up. From a cheeseburger with grilled cheese sandwiches in place of buns, an "Indiana dog" (with fried pork tenderloin in place of a hot dog), and "Da Bear" (a bbq bacon cheeseburger plus the contents of an Italian cold cut), DT Kirby's has all the meat, cheese, and grease you need to win the battle against your hangover and seize the day.
If you're looking for a local Purdue legend with a charismatic owner, awesome hangover food, and cheap beer, DT Kirby's is the place for you.
Man o man is Dad Boner-esque food the key to our heart. You have single handedly sold us, fine sir.
Recommended Food Stuffs: Grilled Cheese Cheeseburger, Indiana Dog (fried pork tenderloin in place of a hot dog), Da Bear (cheeseburger w/ italian cold cuts)
15. Elmo's Diner - Duke University
Elmo's knows how to treat someone dealing with a crippling hangover. My experiences there have been unparalleled and remarkably consistent. You walk in and you're greeted by a wait. This is okay. You're allowed to guzzle coffee during the wait. Then, when you sit down, you're given crayons and an opportunity to color in a duck—Elmo's knows how to treat you like the helpless, hurting child that you have become.
And then comes the menu. My God. Page after page of perfectly greasy diner food, from massive omelettes to waffles with bacon enclosed to a truly dynamite huevos rancheros. Grits are a must; home fries are a respectable substitute. And, if you're feeling frisky, the lunch and dinner specials aren't bad, either. In a simultaneously delicious and awful decision, I once ate meat loaf for a Sunday brunch.
Hungover college students are probably mentally and emotionally inferior to little children. A place that understands this is a place that is far and away deserving of a place on this list.
Recommended Food Stuffs: Huevos Rancheros, Grits, probably not the meat loaf.
14. Frank's Diner - Carthage College
Very small restaurant. servers are supposed to be rude to you. was featured on diners drive ins and dives on Food Network.
When people are rude to you, you automatically like them a lot more than you should. That's how attraction works.
Recommended Food Stuffs: Garbage Plate, which consists of potato hash, eggs (a full one has 5), green peppers, onions, jalapenos, and choices of meats.
13. Sarkis Cafe - Northwestern University
Sarkis is the epitome of hangover food. The original location in Evanston minutes away from Northwestern's campus is a shithole to say the least. It's tiny, cramped, old, dirty, dilapidated, has at least 50 health violations blatantly visible...you get the idea. But what it lacks in showmanship it more than compensates for in nostalgia, charm, and most of all food. The Bacon Loretta is the de facto hangover breakfast (realistically it's 3 before you roll in there). Whether you shit out a small animal minutes before, woke up ass naked in the freezing cold somewhere on the west side of Chicago, or have 0 recollection of the previous night's shenanigans, 2 bacon lorettas with everything, cheesy hash, and a sunkist make all that pain go away.
The Loretta is like finding the perfect girl who fucks like a pornstar and then cooks for you immediately after all while in the nude and playing you in fifa: it just don't get much better than that.
The point of a hungover breakfast spot is to be abnormally, and arguably irresponsibly passionate about it. Despite the setbacks the place may offer, the essence and overall goodness of the food means that said place can do no wrong. Sarkis Cafe epitomizes that.
Recommended Food Stuffs: The Loretta (Start with fresh Turano's bread, The bread is toasted while green peppers, tomatoes, and onions grill in a Mt. Everest-esque pile on the grill, while simultaneously rows upon glorious rows of bacon sizzle away causing what can only be described as the aroma that would make someone kill another human just to smell it wafts into your nostrils. The sandwich is assembled with the bread, a light spread of mayo, copious amounts of bacon, and piled with grilled veggies, then topped off with a blanket of melty, gooey cheese. The dish isn't complete, however, until a generous dusting of secret seasoning is applied across the entire landscape of the plate, followed by a torrential downpour of secret hot sauce to put the proverbial cherry on top. The adventurous have been known to add a fried egg, but the original is more than enough.)
12. Blue Sky - Lehigh University
Food is absolutely unreal. The decor is a little hipster, but I like the music. The place is entirely full every morning from 8-12. Its literally right off campus so anyone can walk to it and theirs a bar about 4 doors down for some morning beers when you've eaten last night’s hangover away.
Their loaded "home-fries" are on point. Loaded is grilled onions, bread crumbs, and hot sauce cooked with the potatoes. It's delicious. They do specials every week too with some crazy kind of french toast. A staple on the menu is S'mores french toast.. The best thing on the menu though? Banana Bourbon french toast. It's sex in a plate.
This place earns its well-deserved spot on this list due to perhaps unrivaled creativity tailored scarily to clientele. S'mores French Toast might just be the holy grail of breakfast foods. Location makes up for any questionable decor, though this screams the sort of place that is what it is, and doesn't necessarily care what everyone else thinks--and judging by the volume everyone else thinks it's pretty damn awesome.
Recommended Food Stuffs: Chocolate Chip 'Big-Daddy' Pancake, S'mores French Toast, Banana Bourbon French Toast, Loaded Home-Fries
11. Toast - College of Charleston
So I hit every fucking bar on one of the stretches in Chucktown and I'm awake on a random couch in god knows where I shouldn't be. When I get the first text of the day from one of my bros I don't go home or shower--I head to toast. When the weather’s nice you can sit outside and absorb some energy and sweat out the fifteen shots of fireball from the night before, or sit in the lowlight inside and hate life until the waiter comes by (who knows you're hungover on Sundays) to take whatever godly breakfast you want.
They have all of your luxury caffeine fixes but lets be honest your there for the $12 bottomless mimosas. As if a little hair of the dog wasn't good enough that southern comfort chicken and biscuit with sausage gravy is going to make you forget about the drunk 6 you took home last night.
Anyway you like to battle your hangover, you can't go wrong at Charleston's Toast.
That picture. Holy SHIT that picture!
Recommended Food Stuffs: Chicken and Biscuits, Bottomless Mimosas.