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ASU Students Move Into Insane Apartment Complex With Virtual Golf, Lazy River

By 08.25.14


I remember the year every dorm on campus got internet and cable. In the same semester! It was dial-up but, whatever, internet!

This apartment complex just off the main campus of Arizona State University is like a high-end vacation compared to my “two hots and cot” university.

The District on Apache is the newest apartment complex to open near the ASU main campus in Tempe, Arizona and the 279 units come fully furnished with granite counter tops, stainless steel appliances, a two-story gym, shuffle board, a virtual golf course and a massive outdoor TV screen overlooking THE LAZY RIVER THAT SNAKES THROUGH THE BACK DECK AREA OF THE COMPLEX.

“It’s going to be tough to leave this and go to class every day,” said Senior Gerald Carter “but I’ll find a way. It’s always waiting when I come home.” As if having the name Gerald wasn’t enough reason to hate this dude.

The complex also boasts several study and conference rooms for those students who want to keep up academics or haven’t noticed THERE IS A GOD DAMN LAZY RIVER IN THEIR APARTMENT COMPLEX.






H/T Fox 10 Phoenix | Photos via District of Apache

Chris Illuminati
About Chris Illuminati... Here is more than you'll ever really want to know about me -- These are the books I've written, these are the places I've done or will do stand-up, these are the articles I've written, this is the blog I do about my inadequacies as a father and this is how you can get in touch with me.

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