So here they are. The top 30 most common apology texts girls send in college, in no apparent order.
1. I’m sorry I threw up in the __________ (sink, bed, potted plant).
2. Sorry I picked a fight with ____________.
3. Sorry I cock blocked you.
4. Sorry that I didn’t cock block you and you took home some fat loser.
5. Sorry I ordered bottle service on your tab.
6. Sorry I got drunk and broke your _______ (camera, TV, phone).
7. Sorry I got us kicked out of the bar because I __________.
8. Sorry “we’ll only do one shot” turned into _________.
9. Sorry I skipped our _________ class, can I get the notes?
10. Sorry I left you at the bar, I was ____________ (making out with my ex).
11. Sorry I drank all your ___________, I’ll totally buy the next bottle.
12. Sorry I ate all of your _________________.
13. Sorry you had to carry me home.
14. Sorry I tried to fix you up with that weird guy from my stats class. At the time he really did seem like your soulmate.
15. Sorry I caused a scene at the bar. That bitch really was trying to fight me.
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16. Sorry I called you 27 times demanding to know why you’d left me when really you were in the bathroom.
17. I’m sorry I spilled my drink on your brand new iPhone 5 (Do not apologize if you spilled a drink on someone’s Droid. This just means they have hope of getting an iPhone).
18. Sorry I decided to wear heels.
19. Sorry I decided we should have a heart to heart about your recent break up in the bathroom.
20. Sorry I got drunk and slept with _________ (your brother, your sister, your roommate, your neighbor).
21. Sorry I gave your number instead of mine to that creepy guy by the jukebox.
22. Sorry I didn’t tell you that you had a nip slip.
23. Sorry I accidentally deleted your 25 page paper looking up cat videos on YouTube. You have it backed up, right?
24. Sorry I decided to use the bathroom behind a bush on the walk home even though there was a cop driving by.
25. Sorry I decided to yell at your ex for breaking your heart outside the bar.
26. Sorry I got so drunk that I cried about __________ (really anything, rule #4 folks. No drunk crying).
27. (To your ex) Sorry I didn’t call you I lost my phone (actually making out with another guy. Or girl).
28. (To your ex) I’m sorry for being an emotional drunk. I can’t help how I feel!
29. (Mass text) Sorry for blacking out during all of welcome week. I just missed you guys so much.
30. (Mass text) Sorry for waking you up, but has anyone seen Amber?
I want more like this!
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