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Why would you want to approach a girl in real life / How would you go about it
There are two ways to meet girls in college.
There’s the old-fashioned method of introducing yourself to girls you meet through classes or mutual friend groups, and then there’s apps like Tinder, where you can sit in the comfort of your dorm room and swipe endlessly, hoping against hope that you’ll swipe right to someone who is both hot and also doesn’t totally suck.
So, given that your friend group is probably all but tapped out in terms of girls you would want to bang (or date, if that’s what you want), your options are Tinder, or risking your pride by saying “hi” to a good looking stranger. But knowing that a strange girl could potentially stab your pride with the knife of rejection, why would you even try since you know you can open an app which does essentially the same thing?
Because girls love it when they meet a guy with interests in common—even if you’re just looking to hook up, it will make the mandatory post-sex cuddle that much less awkward. If you’re both in a class together, or you play the same sport (IM, club, or pick up), or you both joined the same club, it makes sense to reach out to her and try and get to know her! Copping out because you’re nervous she’ll shut you down is a complete waste of time—at least half of the reason we are in college is to talk to people and develop social skills so we can be functioning adults, so relying on Tinder and on your roommate’s girlfriend to set you up are steps one and two to being That Guy Who Can’t Talk To Women.
Unfortunately, I can’t provide you with an encyclopedic list of Exactly Where To Talk To A Girl And What To Say, because there’s no “right” or “wrong” way to talk to a girl, but I can try to give you some advice for where to start:
At The Beginning Of Class/After Class.
It’s not weird to sit next a pretty girl in class if there’s an empty seat and say hi, or to talk to her as she is packing up her stuff. Don’t screw this up by being like, “you’re hot and that’s why I sat here” or by sitting next to her when there are 100 other empty seats. Instead, comment on the reading, or ask her if she’s also a ____ major. Those are perfectly good questions to get to know someone. If you’re in the same class, you probably have similar interests—you can’t ask for a much better foundation than that.
IM/Club Sports
Introduce yourself to that pretty girl on the IM Frisbee team. If you saw her make a great goal/point/whatever, mention it to her. Compliments are great openers, and it’s a way to say, “I noticed you” while not saying “I stared at you the whole time.”
Take A Gym Class
Yoga or spinning are simply great workouts, plus they’re always full of pretty girls. First, you’ll stand out because you’ll be in the strong minority in the dudes-to-chicks ratio, plus there’s always plenty of time after the workout when everyone is pulling on their coats/sweats to say hi and make a joke about how you could only hold crow-pose for like 3 seconds.
Service Projects
I’ve had so many conversations with friends about how clubs/activities related to service to the community are always frantically recruiting dudes because for some reason they often don’t apply or participate. In the health education group I intern for at UVA, we shove flyers in boys’ faces between classes urging them to apply (“there are free condoms!”). Trust me on this, even if the rest of your friends aren’t into building houses for poor people or taking a service trip over spring break, they’ll be eating their words when you find yourself surrounded by cute, friendly babes sweating in the sun hammering homes together.
Open Mic Nights
Poetry isn’t just for ladies! One of the best spoken word poets I know slays every week at a local open mic night and oh by the way he’s a dude. You don’t even have to read anything! Just show up, introduce yourself, and meet interesting English majors who will, in all likelihood, be super friendly and really interested in talking about that indie group you looked up on Spotify 30 minutes before showing up.
Through Friends!
Through the wonders of degrees of separation, it is incredibly likely some of your friends are friends with hot girls you have not yet met. Yes—it really can be that simple. If you see them sitting together at the Student Union, or on a bench between classes, go up and introduce yourself! I find that when I shake hands with friends of friends they look at me all surprised, like, “I’m not used to being noticed.” Don’t be that guy—pull together the ounce of courage you managed to hold on after high school and just say hello! I promise, you can do it, and no, the Earth will not explode.
I want a dollar for every missed opportunity I have screwed up because I was too shy to say something. Perfect example: I matched with a kid I had a gym class with on Tinder two semester later, and he was like, “Yeah I thought you were like so cute,” and I was like, well fuck—this would have gone a lot better if I hadn’t been such a coward and actually tried to talk to him during class.
So get out there and say, “Hi, how’s it going?” You can thank me when she says “Hi” back.