30.) Vladimir Vodka ($13.99/750ml)
Speaking of great tasting alcohol, Vladimir Vodka is not one of them. We spent a long time coming up with ways to say this was great vodka for the price but we always ended up remembering what it did to our intestines. Do yourself a favor, work more hours and buy something better.
29.) Seagram’s Extra Dry Gin ($12.99/750ml)
Gin is always going to be better when mixed with dry vermouth. James Bond drinks it. That should be the only reason you make this purchase, to feel like you are channeling your inner James Bond. Seagram’s might not be Gordon’s but it’ll work.
28.) Evan Williams Whiskey ($15.99/Liter)
Evan Williams is known for one thing, whiskey. And in Kentucky, a state where whiskey is king, Evan Williams is one of the biggest names. It has been considered one of the better cheap whiskeys and after a blind taste test, we concur. And by blind we mean we all had too many shots of Everclear and could not see shit when we tried it out. But it is still one of the better tasting brands on the list.
27.) Old Crow Bourbon ($15.99/Liter)
Is it strong? Yes. Is it cheap? Yes. Does it taste good? Uh, did we mention it was strong and cheap? This Bourbon whiskey is for all those kids out there just looking to expand their horizons. Not broaden them, just expand.
26.) Busch Light ($9/12-pack)
We have little to say that doesn’t end with, this sucks. So we will keep this short and sweet, this beer sucks. It tastes good sometimes. Like when you are drunk and looking for a ride home and the only thing you have left is a Busch Light to drink.
25.) Banker’s Club Vodka ($6.99/Liter)
Look at the price. Now look at the liquor. Now go back and look at the price again. You don’t even get what you pay for with this drink. It is not worthless, it is simply terrible. Drink at your own risk.
24.) El Jimador Tequila Reposado ($22.99/750ml)
There will never come a time when you order tequila at a bar and someone doesn’t shout, “Tequila!” So make sure to drink this crap at home before the bar. You can pre-game the crap out of this tequila. It is actually pretty good too.
23.) Mike’s Hard Lemonade ($12.99/12-pack)
If you drink Mike’s Hard Lemonade, two things are about to happen. One, you are going to have a fit when we say it sucks. Two, you are going to punch a pillow after you get your nails done because no real man drinks this crap unless a woman buys it for him and sex is the end result. That is a man law, look it up.
22.) Pabst Blue Ribbon ($8.75/12-pack)
Pabst Blue Ribbon, or PBR as it is called around here, is one of the most underrated beers on the cheap market. If you could formulate a recipe for cheap beer, it would suck but somehow PBR has figured out how to make cheap beer taste good.
21.) Skol Vodka ($12.99/1.75ml)
There is no disguising the flavor of this vodka, it plain stinks. We would only use this stuff to burn the paint off a car. It is that bad. Take a shot of Skol when it is hot and we will personally drive you home that night because you will be tossing up anything you ate the past three days. But since it is college sometimes you have to do what you have to do.
20.) Franzia Box-O-Wine ($13.99/5 liters)
If you still doubt the presence of wine on campus, go back and start asking around. The results might shock you. Sure, the guys aren’t going to be spending too much time chugging wine but where else can you carry around a freaking box of wine with a straw and not be considered a douche?
19.) Sobieski Vodka ($20.95/1.75 Liters)
Anyone else getting tired of hearing about bad tasting vodka? Well, here is another. Sobieski vodka is cheap and bad. We had to go out and do some research on this one. After about three shots, things got out of control. Maybe next time we don’t use plastic beer cups for the shot glasses.
18.) Keystone Light ($8.49/12-pack)
Keith Stone is one of the greatest ideas for a mascot for a beer that feeds off the bottom shelves of gas stations across the flyover states. If not for him, no one would be drinking this stuff outside of the broke college students.
17.) Popov Vodka ($7.99/Liter)
Yes, more vodka that costs less than the socks on your feet. In fact, Popov vodka is not bottom shelf vodka, it is much worse. Is there something we can call vodka that a hobo looking for alcohol on the street wouldn’t even drink?
16.) Milwaukee's Best ($7.99/12-pack)
As far as cheap beer goes, this is the best. Keep in mind being the best cheap beer is like being the fastest runner at Dunkin Donuts. However, this beer does taste good enough to consider drinking more than once. You will end up saving some cash too.
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