A lot of college kids are currently in, or have just completed, that odd period in between the end of school and the start of summer plans. The irrefutable boredom that comes with this time of year often produces some interesting daily occurrences. Here are five things that you probably have done in between bites of lo mein:
1. Spent An Entire Day on Wikipedia Learning Ostensibly Useless Sh*t
Regardless of what you’re into, it’s almost a given that you’ll spend an astonishing amount of your lag-time looking up some sort of useless knowledge that will benefit you in no tangible way. This could range anywhere from memorizing an actor’s entire filmography on IMDB to reading the entire "Game of Thrones" series (on Wikipedia). I once spent a whole day going through all the major cities in America, learning which rappers are from which city. I am a significantly a better person for doing this. I am also significantly whiter.
2. Sent or Received An Unnecessarily Long Message From An Ex:
High season for this type of activity. The boredom sets in to the point that there’s nothing to do other than to see if you could grow out a beard, which will naturally get you depressed, which will naturally make you think about how you may have f*cked sh*t up with that girl from freshman year. She, on the other hand, will be sitting there watching "Pretty Little Liars," but actually thinking about the manifesto she’s been meaning to write for months, and now finally has the time to.
The party who receives the message is obviously the big winner here, and has the chance to blitz their inner friend circle about how badly girls still want his d. Sick, Bro.
3. Tell 25-75 People How Much Better Your College Is Than Their College:
This generally only applies to underclassmen, or those who are still clueless enough to think that people actually give a sh*t that they consume alcohol from Thursday-Saturday.
Post-semester family-friend summer BBQs are ground zero for this type of sh*t. Your parent’s friends asking you “how’s college?” is inevitably going to happen, but it's more of an obligational question than it is one of general interest. This means that you have no other option but to give that person the easy way out, telling them that “you love it.”
On that same vein, loving college as a freshman is just the next thing to do, the next mindset to have, so we figure it’s necessary in order to climb the next rung on the ladder; the one that will lead us to the internships, then the reputable jobs and graduate schools, and eventually the waterfront beach houses. Whoops, that was actually serious. My bad.
4. Facebook Photos
- Spending 4-5 hours touching up albums on iPhoto before they go live (girls)
- Stalking pics of hot girls all the way back to their high school days, making you feel slightly worse about yourself afterwards
- Upon seeing an unknown hot girl in a friend’s pic, finding out you and her have 4-9 mutual friends.
- When you finally do meet said hot girl and begin playing the mutual friend game, both parties will pretend like this is previously unknown knowledge.
5. Embellish Hookup Stories To High School Friends:
A one night stand translates into “this girl I’ve been hooking up with.” Multiple hookups with no long-term interest on her side translates into “a girl I’m kind of dating, but don’t want the commitment.” A relationship translates into a relationship, though a certain type of clown will make it clear that she has no say in the sh*t he does, and will shotgun 8 beers in 20 minutes to prove it. This is of course followed by an iPhone text exchange filled exclusively with heart emoticons.