College
by ASiegel on August 20, 2012

1. The “As Seen On TV” Frat Bro

Might as well get this one out of the way first. The “ASOTV” brother is loud, obnoxious and drunk often. He’ll call you a “Geed” and then kick you out of his house because you complained the keg line was too long. Different from movies, a High School Senior/First Week Freshman/Hot Chick doesn’t put him in his place, and he goes on to be a douche for the rest of his life. Fortunately this isn’t a very prevalent fraternity bro, as they usually fail out after only a few semesters.
`
2. The Prankster

The prankster frat bro is revered throughout his respective house by the just initiated and rushes. Once you’ve lived with him for a semester or two, finding the fake bug in your protein powder stops being funny. The reaction of the brother whose shampoo was spiked with Nair on the contrary, always a good laugh. If you’re pledging, he’s the guy who’ll come up with the most ridiculous, least painful pledge event. He’s found in just about every house.

3. The Brother Who’s Only There for the Connections/The Assh*le

No question, having connections is a great perk of being in a Fraternity, but this kid joined exclusively for that, and his lack of dedication to his brothers make him an assh*le. He’ll begrudgingly show up to mixers and other big parties, but refuses to come over and drink any other time because he has to protect his image. Speaking of his image, during philanthropy events, he’ll be the guy who shows up looking dapper trying to impress everyone who’s anyone trying to get ahead in life, while every other brother is suffering from the night before (philanthropy events seem to ALWAYS fall on Saturday mornings, you’d think they would have learned by now). You can identify by his trademark phrase “It’s a Fraternity, not a Frat.” With the economy the way it’s been, more and more of these types are sprouting up.

4. The Brother Who’s Only There To Get Drunk….All The Time

This kid is great for fraternity morale. Girlfriend just break up with you? Fail a big test? Fired from your job? If you answered yes to any of those questions, he’ll take you out to a bar and get you too drunk to remember your problems. But not for you, for him, because drinking alone is depressing, and for alcoholics, and as long as you’re there, it’s a brotherhood event! He’ll often cross the line when he shows up to the house at 9 am on a Sunday for a Philanthropy event benefitting old people or puppies, completely hammered and then proceeds to throw up on said old people or puppies.  Having to explain that he’s having a bad reaction to his medication is a science you have perfected. Most of these kids get rushed and offered a bid because of his propensity to be drunk, but he usually doesn’t make it through pledging. Later on in life he becomes the drunk uncle.

5. The Ghost Brother

This is the Brother that shows up once or twice a semester, he pays his dues and might attend a party or two, but other than that, he’s absent. He’s never seen at intramural games, philanthropy or fundraising events. When people outside the Fraternity that ask where he is, if they even know he exists, the best excuse you can make for him is he’s either under the weather or his phone is off. His commitment died after pledging, and these brothers are all around. You might have one in your house and not even know it.

6. The Fighter

If you’re in the most hated house on campus, this kid probably rushed until he was given a bid. The only reason he accepted the bid, and endured pledging was to fight. He’ll fight rival fraternities, maybe even rival schools, but he’s always fighting. As brothers you’re obligated to have his back. At first the comradery The Fighter creates is pretty cool, and the fights are good bonding experiences. However, after you guys have been thrown out of and banned from the 3rd or 4th bar downtown or even worse, kicked off campus, his antics become extremely frustrating and you wish HE were the Ghost Brother.

7. The Try Hard

The way he acts around the brothers, you would think he was still a pledge. His most obnoxious quality is his innate need to be liked, which is ironic, because if he didn’t possess that quality, everyone would like him. He is every pledges favorite brother because he’ll give them a heads up before a particularly shitty night. He can be found in just about every house.

8. The Overenthusiastic Brother

When it comes to this brother, it’s hard to dislike him, at first. He shows an abundance of Fraternity spirit, always wearing letters and hanging out with the bros. He bought his dog a collar with your letters on it. However, the overenthusiastic brother becomes a bit of a nuisance when you’re doing things not related to Greek life, because he’ll always try to incorporate the Fraternity into everything, and that can get really annoying, really quickly. These traits are common in just initiates and usually fade through their first semester, but there are always a few who never change.

9. The Legacy

For those who don’t know, legacies ALWAYS get a bid, it’s a rule. Most of the time the legacy will be a pretty cool kid, similar to the stories we heard about his pops from back in the day. However, every so often you get a legacy that just plain sucks. He’ll go to the rush events because his father made him, and he’ll only sign the bid for the same purpose. He couldn’t give less of a sh*t about being there, but you still have to show him the rush of his life. Fortunately these kids are only guaranteed bids, but it’s not a guarantee he’ll cross into the Fraternity. The sh*tty Legacy is a rare case, and you may only encounter him once during your time in school.

10. The Regular Frat Dude

Laidback, decent individuals who happen to be in a Greek Organization. They do exist. You’ll see them at philanthropy events, and parties and even in class. The more of these guys a house has, the better. Some houses have a few, others are almost made up entirely of them.

There a no doubt more than 10 types, but these are the 10 most common. List more in the comments. 

About ASiegel...

Post a Comment

Your email is kept private. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>