What that small fortune in tuition is truly paying for. #Lifelessons cost some coin, I guess.
1. Whatever It Is, It’ll Somehow Get Done
Yes there’s the whole “email your professor for an extension” route, but there’s only so many times you can play that card. Back up against the wall, you learn that no matter what has gone down the past weekend, how much alcohol may currently be harlem-shaking in your system, or how badly you want to never leave the shower, the final product will somehow magically appear right at the deadline. Its quality may be another story, but the point is that it’s done. It always gets done.
2. There Is a Shit Ton of Time in the Day
All of which will be spent doing highly productive things like watching "House of Cards," talking about being hungry, asking other people if they’re hungry, figuring out what food you want, going on seamless, forgetting that you’re hungry because 10 Reasons Why You’ve Gotten Absolutely Nothing Out of This Article Consisting Solely of GIFs You’ve Already Seen, remembering that you’re hungry, wondering how people could possibly afford anything because a simple meal costs $13, and taking a nap. Only to be woken up by who the fuck knocks that...oh yea, the delivery guy.
3. The Lyrics to Drake Songs
Are you the guy currently walking around the house in only boxers, uttering the phrase “started from the bottom now we here” about 95 times per day? If so, good for you.
4. Good vs. Evil vs. Somewhere in the Middle
Most people come into college with homegrown-based perceptions of what’s acceptable, what’s not, and what determines who is the sort of person you want to be associated with.
But then you get drunk and do shit, and that shit is not in accordance with what you were told was “good” or “bad.” Cheating on someone is universally considered terrible, but that’s not necessarily a choice reflective of their entire self. Yes, you shouldn’t hook up with people you shouldn’t, but science says that every choice you make has equal reactions, positive and negative. Being there for a friend means you’re inevitably not devoting enough time to someone or something else. You could only be a good person to so many people without inevitably screwing someone over. And oftentimes, if you’re so hellbent on pleasing everyone, that person will be yourself.
5. Extreme Is Always Better, Until You Get Too Extreme
#Truthbomb time: In any college roommate relationship, you want to be the one who goes to sleep later, drinks more, and overall is more aggressive and excessive in every aspect of life--this prevents you from ever having to waste your life being a constant caretaker, having your routine compromised, or being passive aggressively angry every waking moment you’re in that room.
But go too overboard and...rehab!
college coinage pic via shuttershock