All right freshmen Bros, your probably moving into your dorm right now, getting a feel for this stranger that you are going to be living with for the next year, taking in all the surroundings. You got a small-ass bed, cinder-block walls, and a grungy tile floor. Real cozy. Probably hot as hell and smells like a weird mixture of urine and vomit, too. At this point you're sweating your ass off after carrying a mini-fridge up six flights of stairs, and your mom is in tears while she tries to organize all your shit. Yes, all of this sucks, but stay positive, dorm life is sick. Here are a couple rules to fully enjoy your dorm experience.
1. Establish a Solid Relationship with Your Roommate
Whether you like it or not, this guy is going to be in very close proximity with you for the rest of the year. You don't have to like him, just respect him. Usually your roommate will end up being one of your better friends at school anyway. Just clean up after yourself and don't touch any of his stuff and you should get along. Also, figure out a system early for how to handle the inevitable situation when one of you needs the room to yourself. Unless his slampiece practically moves in with you guys, never begrudge a Bro for getting ass.
2. Make Friends with the Girls in Your Hall…
I don't care how ugly, fat, or annoying the girls in your hall are, they can single-handedly make or break your game. There's also going to be at least one hot girl she's friends with that will probably come over. Just treat them right and they will gladly guide your cock instead of blocking it.
3. …But Don't Partake in Hall-cest
Do not, I repeat DO NOT try and hook up with any of the girls on your hall. Shit will get real weird and awkward. You might as well date the b*tch, and dear God is that a mistake. She is going to know everything you do and who you bring back and watch you for the next two semesters. Just an all-around disaster. If you must, though, wait until the end of the year so you can just dip out for summer vacation and avoid the awkwardness.
4. Be Cool with the Guys
There is going to be this awkward stage the first couple weeks you're living in the dorm where all the girls are trying to get a feel for everyone and all the guys are trying to establish who the alpha male is. Forget about all that; just introduce yourself and show respect to everyone. Sooner rather than later you'll figure out who your best friends and future groomsmen will be, but until then, just remember that at some point in the next four years every other Bro on campus could potentially help get you drunk or you close with a girl. Don't burn any bridges your first week of college.
5. Figure Out Your RA Quickly
It is going to be pretty easy to tell if your RA is going to be a stiff or not. Usually your RA won't call the police and give you an underage citation if they catch you, in which case, party on. But if your RA does suck, just accept that you're going to have to pre-game elsewhere.