Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.
Related: The 50 most entertaining celebrities to follow on Twitter
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While I understand @twitter 's experiment to expand, I don't appreciate it on my account.
— Kate Bosworth (@katebosworth) August 18, 2014
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Kate’s cranky.
*nominates Jesus for ice bucket challenge*
— Ireland (@IrelandBBaldwin) August 18, 2014
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Much like Obama, he’s too busy. Or is he?
My cats kept me up half the night. The MEOWS. people…the meows will drive me stark raving mad!
— Adrianne Curry (@AdrianneCurry) August 18, 2014
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#catladyproblems.
'Let's Be Cops' opened this past weekend which has to be the most poorly timed title of a movie in the history of cinema.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) August 18, 2014
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This is true.
I predict ESPN (and Jon Gruden) will be very low-key about Johnny Manziel appearing on Monday Night Football tonight.
— Richard Deitsch (@richarddeitsch) August 18, 2014
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Where’s that sarcasm font when you need it?
Handy rule: If you're not sure whether to use an apostrophe, don't tweet.
— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) August 18, 2014
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Solid tip.
"What if the trumpet was harder to play and ruined songs?" – guy who invented the saxophone
— Nate Fernald (@natefernald) August 18, 2014
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True story.
When I retire I’m going to pursue my first passion: inventing pancakes that can be sold by the loaf.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) August 18, 2014
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I’d buy them.
due to me already making a ton of money I have decided to end my track season early focus on netflix.Thank u for this time of understanding.
— Lolo Jones (@lolojones) August 18, 2014
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She’s joking, right?
are Priceline commercials trying to sell us their services or William Shatner? Cause they make me not want either of them.
— Brandon McCarthy (@BMcCarthy32) August 18, 2014
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Truth.
# of Manziel specific items on official Browns website store: 32. # of Hoyer specific items in Browns official website store: 0.
— darren rovell (@darrenrovell) August 18, 2014
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Makes sense.
Twitter exercise: mix everything in your news feed into 1 story. Tonight that would be Johnny Manziel giving the finger to Ferguson cops.
— J.A. Adande (@jadande) August 19, 2014
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Up next on CNN.
Not quite sure why my #IceBucketChallenge has posted again. Some jiggery pokery with that strange beast, the internet. Anyway – have fun.
— Tom Hiddleston (@twhiddleston) August 19, 2014
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I am so using “jiggery pokery” in my next conversation.
I will not be competing in this year's @usopen.
— Andy Kindler (@AndyKindler) August 19, 2014
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There go the ratings.
Ignore your phone, keep your head up
— RuPaul (@RuPaul) August 19, 2014
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Ru has spoken.
I'm fucking sick of this shit… I WANT A GOD DAMN PONY!!!!!!!!
— James Deen (@JamesDeen) August 19, 2014
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Seriously, when do we get our ponies?
I dreamed I was doing Prince's dishes and I chipped a platter. Even just 9 years ago, I could only have shared this with maybe 100 people.
— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) August 19, 2014
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It’s a great new world we live in.
I can't imagine dumping bucket of ice water on oneself does much for the libido.
— Dr. Ruth Westheimer (@AskDrRuth) August 19, 2014
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Surely somewhere a guy has a fetish for doing just that.
Pretty shitty August.
— Jordan Peele (@JordanPeele) August 19, 2014
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It hasn’t exactly been rainbows and unicorns.
I don't think girls really appreciate how gratifying it is as a guy to break in a baseball cap organically over time.
— Dane Cook (@DaneCook) August 19, 2014
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This is true.
I think Dave Grohl looks very sweet in his prom dress.
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) August 19, 2014
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He did look rather fetching.
"Dear celebrities, OK, now that's enough. Please stop pouring lovely fresh water over your heads" – Africa
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) August 19, 2014
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He has a very good point.
I get so mad when crusty right-wing zealots stop regurgitating Fox News and try to make jokes! Stick to politics! And also don't be fat!
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) August 19, 2014
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YEAH!
Why aren't these people with Ebola doing the ice bucket challenge? Don't they want to get better?
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) August 20, 2014
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Maybe they haven’t heard about it?
Keep dreaming, especially when you wake up
— CeeLo Green (@CeeLoGreen) August 20, 2014
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I tried, but then I fell asleep again.
I have no one to talk with about the improvements in fanny pack fashion.
— Jen Kirkman (@JenKirkman) August 20, 2014
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Matthew McConaughey is available.
After further review of Nicki's video ANACONDA I must say I love her, if I were to critique it I'd use me instead of Drake though…
— Chad Johnson (@ochocinco) August 20, 2014
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Anyone but Drake would have been better.
Can anyone recommend a good reggae song about medicinal marijuana?
— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) August 20, 2014
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Good question.
I've now been called a dick, a troll, and Skip Bayless since my Manziel tweet. Which is far more interesting than the actual tweet.
— Richard Deitsch (@richarddeitsch) August 20, 2014
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Ooh, called a Skip Bayless? That’s low.
You say "pumpkin spice", I hear "fragrant baby shit"
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) August 20, 2014
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You are not alone.
I've been challenged to an ALS ICE BUCKET by @JoeVFox12 Anyone know what this is?
— Rowdy Roddy Piper (@R_Roddy_Piper) August 20, 2014
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Oh, Roddy…
As a general rule, if you’re REALLY SUPER PROUD of being blocked by someone, maybe it’s time to reevaluate your life choices to this point.
— Wil Wheaton (@wilw) August 20, 2014
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Maybe I will, maybe I won’t.
Whole Foods is the real life version of Tinder
— Lolo Jones (@lolojones) August 21, 2014
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She’s kind of right, you know?
Be. Honest. Is it weird to post a d-pick for Throw Back Thursday??
— Jen Kirkman (@JenKirkman) August 21, 2014
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Not at all.
RT if you think you're as smart as me.
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) August 21, 2014
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That’s actually very…smart..
Just showed some millennials my #balls.
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) August 21, 2014
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Good job..
When u can’t tweet because u haven’t responded to someone’s text yet
— Ryan Seacrest (@RyanSeacrest) August 21, 2014
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Ha!
Shout out to fat people with tans!
— Jeff Ross (@realjeffreyross) August 21, 2014
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That’s right, work it, folks.
Well I closed my instagram account. Seems creepy, like breaking into someone's house, sitting on their couch and looking at their photos
— Kevin Nash (@RealKevinNash) August 22, 2014
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Wait, that’s creepy? Whoops.
The part of Sharknado 2 that really stretched my suspension of disbelief was the Mets winning a game.
— Wil Wheaton (@wilw) August 22, 2014
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Totally unbelievable.
For celebrities, the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge is the best way ever invented to name drop.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) August 22, 2014
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Nooo shit.
FUCK THE WHEAT THINS
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) August 20, 2014
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Have a great weekend, everybody!