Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.
Related: The 50 most entertaining celebrities to follow on Twitter
.
just RT'd all your moms
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) July 14, 2014
“”
Mom jokes on Twitter, always good.
Argentina gets the second place medal. FYI: Argentum (Ag) on the Periodic Table of Elements is more commonly known as Silver.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) July 14, 2014
“”
Man, what a nerd.
The Dutch team is THIRD in the #WorldCup2014! But, they got FIRST place weed.
— Arsenio Hall (@ArsenioHall) July 14, 2014
“”
That’s why you never hear of sports riots in the Netherlands.
Holy rhino droppings in the Serengeti they have free medicare in Canada…
— Chad Johnson (@ochocinco) July 14, 2014
“”
Ocho Cinco still has some catching up to do.
Just because World Cup is over, does that mean the Adriana Lima car commercials have to end?
— Jena Sims (@jenamsims) July 14, 2014
“”
Man, I hope not.
Is there a metal box I can sit in so everyone knows I'm an A-hole? A Lamborghini? Great!
— Adam McKay (@GhostPanther) July 14, 2014
“”
Call me an A-hole all you want, buster?
They say behind every great man is a great woman… But behind every great woman is Yoda.
— oliviamunn (@oliviamunn) July 14, 2014
“”
You can stop playing the nerd card now, Olivia.
I bet not one great thinker who wrote an inspirational quote hoped their words would ever be used on a phone app by hungover sorority girls.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) July 14, 2014
“”
Not even Mark Twain?
I'm raising funds to take a nap. Please fund me at http://t.co/a8hvLE6DKv
— dax shepard (@daxshepard1) July 14, 2014
“”
Yes, I clicked it.
Well, it finally happened. My son took a picture of me crying at a tampon commercial and snap-chatted it to his friends.
— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) July 14, 2014
“”
Sucks to be a parent in the 21st century.
I need more malt liquor in my life
— James Deen (@JamesDeen) July 15, 2014
“”
Who doesn’t?
I"ll be wearing yoga pants for the next 6 weeks.
— Judah Friedlander (@JudahWorldChamp) July 15, 2014
“”
Me too!
Still shocked that celebrities think their second and third marriages will work.
— Jen Kirkman (@JenKirkman) July 15, 2014
“”
I’m shocked ANYONE thinks that.
Movies that have one character say to another "someday you will learn the secret" can s my d
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) July 15, 2014
“”
Really.
Video taping stuff HAS been profitable for you. RT @KimKardashian: I should start video taping the interviews I do & post on my website.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) July 15, 2014
“”
A+ burn.
Daughter is at a sleepover, son at camp, wife out until late. I have the house to myself, and I am going to watch the fuck out of some PBS.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) July 15, 2014
“”
Party animal.
I don't think I can call myself an adult until I figure out how to use bleach in the laundry.
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) July 15, 2014
“”
I may never grow up then.
You don't HAVE to tweet something
— Dolph Ziggler (@HEELZiggler) July 16, 2014
“”
A lesson for us all.
For those arguing Cavs won't have "chemistry." LeBron James is the Human Chemistry Set. He could make the Crips and Bloods get along.
— Jason Whitlock (@WhitlockJason) July 16, 2014
“”
Hyperbole much, Jason?
Major League Baseball's lack of a Tony Gwynn moment is inexcusable and surprising. Hard to see how they could have missed this.
— darren rovell (@darrenrovell) July 16, 2014
“”
Because they’re Major League Baseball?
Uncool people are just now catching on to making fun of "hipsters" and it's making me side with the hipsters.
— Jen Kirkman (@JenKirkman) July 16, 2014
“”
I feel you, Jen. I feel you.
Who knew that Mila Kunis was even working in a distillery, let alone planning embezzlement.
— Michael McKean (@MJMcKean) July 16, 2014
“”
No idea.
It's not abuse if I make my kids carry me everywhere in one of those stretchers used to remove injured players during the World Cup, right?
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) July 16, 2014
“”
No, it is not.
There is going to be a ton of athletic sex tonight. #Espys
— Ben Schwartz (@rejectedjokes) July 17, 2014
“”
True dat.
To the person who stole my credit card and spent $800 at an aquarium, there's something awfully fishy about you.
— olivia wilde (@oliviawilde) July 17, 2014
“”
Sounds bass-akwards to me. (Sorry.)
dear iCloud
FUCK YOU I DON'T WANT TO BE INVOLVED PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE AND STOP TRYING TO "MANAGE" MY STUFF!!!!!!!
— James Deen (@JamesDeen) July 17, 2014
“”
Seriously, f-ck you iCloud.
every dad at the airport, did you wear your white, new balance tennis shoes?
ok, good.
— Dolph Ziggler (@HEELZiggler) July 18, 2014
“”
Yes, they all got the memo. Every day.
The wine glass lobbyists are paying millions a year to hide the TRUTH that it tastes better in a plastic cup.
— josh groban (@joshgroban) July 18, 2014
“”
And it’s way more classy.
Scrolling Instagram is equally as important as brushing my teeth at night
— Ryan Seacrest (@RyanSeacrest) July 18, 2014
“”
Really?
Spankin' the monkey.. Bitch.
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) July 18, 2014
“”
Good to know, Blake. Thanks.
Goodnight gummy bear tits
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) July 14, 2014
“”
Have a great weekend, everyone!