Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.
Related: The 50 most entertaining celebrities to follow on Twitter
I drank too much wine. I can't tell if it's good. Like I think hot pockets are delicious after this amount of wine. It could be terrible.
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) June 16, 2014
Hot Pockets are delicious so it’s not the wine.
Dear Hollywood: why was everyone in 'Maleficent' Scottish except Maleficent and Aurora? Signed, Confused in Cali
— Kat Dennings (@OfficialKat) June 16, 2014
She wasn’t the only one wondering that.
Game Of Thrones…you complete me
— Aly & AJ Michalka (@78Violet) June 16, 2014
And now we begin the long wait for the next season.
There's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path, and a difference between walking the path and sissying that walk
— RuPaul (@RuPaul) June 16, 2014
Words of wisdom, indeed.
"Life is too short to waste your time reading and posting inspirational messages & quotes on social media" -me
— Dolph Ziggler (@HEELZiggler) June 16, 2014
And there went another five seconds of our lives.
I'm trying to live moment to moment. That's why I find it impossible to sustain a conversation.
— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) June 16, 2014
That’s as good an excuse any I suppose.
Thinking about making love in the green grass? Remember that peak Lyme Disease season is 3 weeks away.
— Dr. Ruth Westheimer (@AskDrRuth) June 16, 2014
Man, does she ever stop giving out great advice?
Left my oven on all night. You guys almost lost this. Like if I had sleepwalked into it I would be a goner.
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) June 16, 2014
Hope she didn’t burn the Hot Pockets.
world cup. Thought it was Germany vs Portland. Thgt that doesn't seem fair n how the fuck did Portland manage to get there. Need coffee.
— Kathleen Madigan (@kathleenmadigan) June 16, 2014
The country of Portland does have a great team though.
I do not care for the trend of using nouns as adjectives or adverbs…ie, "Very casual, very "daytime".
— Ellen Barkin (@EllenBarkin) June 16, 2014
Now get off Ellen’s lawn, please.
Im sry but 2 peeps who wnt 2 trip on my spell ch going 2 Loss when I was spelling lose. Blows my mind. So I just hit him a little. God Bless
— Michael Irvin (@michaelirvin88) June 16, 2014
Your tweets are protected? Why don't you just use email and get over yourself.
— Andy Kindler (@AndyKindler) June 16, 2014
But they’re very important tweets.
BREAKING NEWS: Emmys canceled. All awards to be given to Peter Dinklage.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) June 17, 2014
As it should be.
If your ex's have changed their phone numbers, go to plan B. @ them so they know it's real.
— Chad Johnson (@ochocinco) June 17, 2014
Sage advice from 85.
Overheard on the streets of New York : "I don't know what's going on! we have an open relationship but all we do is fight!"
— Whitney Cummings (@WhitneyCummings) June 17, 2014
Believable on all counts.
Just gave my bag in the front seat the "mom arm". Think twice before getting in the car with me, folks
— Jena Sims (@jenamsims) June 17, 2014
I’d still ride with her.
Common courtesy: don't bring McDonalds French fries on the plane unless you bring enough for everybody.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) June 17, 2014
This is 100% true.
Kanye said Kim was "exhausted" during their honeymoon because they spent 4 days retouching their wedding picture for Instagram. #YesAllWomen
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) June 17, 2014
Not sure that’s what #YesAllWomen is for.
Nothing worse than a male model in an ad for a suit he'd never wear. Real business men are so much sexier.
— Hope Dworaczyk (@HopeDworaczyk) June 18, 2014
Damn right, Hope.
I've liked soccer ever since I learned a surprising fact about it: America can win.
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) June 18, 2014
Damn right, Stephen.
Pretty sure there are multiple Bill Murray's. He's in more places than God. #MurrayBeWithYou
— Jamie Kennedy (@JamieKennedy) June 18, 2014
He really is everywhere.
Soccer is America's new national pastime unless you count all other sports. #WorldCup
— Jeff Ross (@realjeffreyross) June 18, 2014
Uh oh, soccer fan is going to be maaaad.
Can't stand that heart hand finger thing.
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) June 18, 2014
Uh oh, a lot of women on Instagram going to be maaaad.
Facebook is down, which means I'm currently enjoying the site more than I have in a long time.
— Brandon McCarthy (@BMcCarthy32) June 19, 2014
You were not alone, Brandon.
When Facebook goes down it's like the moment Nada puts on the sunglasses in They Live.
— Dane Cook (@DaneCook) June 19, 2014
If you’ve seen the film, well…
As my old nan used to say, "If you haven't got anything nice to say, then fuck off and be a cunt somewhere else." Have a lovely day :)
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) June 19, 2014
I like his old nan’s style.
RIP Tony Gwynn you break my heart bubba I love you forever
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) June 16, 2014
Amen, Sheik, amen.
I want more like this!
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