Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.
Are we ok that "Friends" airs on Nick at Nite?
— Jeff Rossen (@jeffrossen) February 24, 2014
Well, are we?
I wish I was still dating Flo from progressive, our chemistry was unmatched‼️
— Chad Johnson (@ochocinco) February 24, 2014
After much consideration and 26 push-ups…I've decided to throw my hat in the ring for a shot at Rousey. @danawhite I await the paperwork.
— Michelle Beadle (@MichelleDBeadle) February 24, 2014
She can’t fare worse than Sara McMann did.
Sometimes you just gotta strip naked and eat Taco Bell
— James Deen (@JamesDeen) February 24, 2014
Truer words were never spoken.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) February 24, 2014
Filling out the paperwork to rename my kid Harold.
— Jason Biggs (@JasonBiggs) February 24, 2014
R.I.P. Harold Ramis.
If only Alec Baldwin hadn't retired from public life before he could mourn Harold Ramis
— Julie Klausner (@julieklausner) February 24, 2014
Sucks for him.
— Stacey Dash (@REALStaceyDash) February 24, 2014
Just once in my life, I’d like to know the sweet satisfaction of finishing a tube of ChapStick.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) February 24, 2014
Never gonna happen, it’s never been done.
Living every week like it's shark week
— Jena Sims (@jenamsims) February 24, 2014
As we all should.
— Jordan Carver (@jordancarver) February 24, 2014
Robin Thicke calling it quits with Paula Patton- that is a shock ha ha – That lifestyle is conducive to being single -a report from Dr Dick
— Dick Vitale (@DickieV) February 25, 2014
Thank God Dickie V weighed in on this.
Paula Patton on the market. Holla!
— Jason Whitlock (@WhitlockJason) February 25, 2014
The "Got Milk" ad campaign is ending after 20 years. Oh no. Now how will people hear about milk?
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) February 25, 2014
Perhaps by just looking in their fridge?
Alec Baldwin will retire from public life until the next time he's offered a film or TV role, a hosting gig or a commercial campaign.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) February 24, 2014
People want to be positive, they just want a reason they can truly believe in. That's why I put my cats in sweaters.
— Emile Hirsch (@EmileHirsch) February 25, 2014
Solution i have for people complaining about a story being covered by a TV channel all day is….don't watch TV all day.
— Tom Crabtree (@itsCrab) February 25, 2014
— Abigail Ratchford (@AbiRatchford) February 25, 2014
Good morning to us!
Soap opera actors look like if a human fucked some sort of "handsome animal" and had a baby. This is not a compliment.
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) February 25, 2014
I wouldn’t think so.
No, flash player, I will not update you now. Not until the day I try to watch Hulu and it won't play. Not a moment sooner!!
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) February 25, 2014
Damn right. Good for you, Anna.
My neighbor just drove past me with a full grocery bag on his roof. I didn't stop him. I figured, well, he made it this far.
— Dane Cook (@DaneCook) February 25, 2014
Roger Hill, Cyrus in The Warriors, dead at 65. If you say you weren't freaked out by that flick, I'll say you're lying out your ass.
— Jim Rome (@jimrome) February 26, 2014
If I show you a picture on my iPhone and you begin scrolling through my photos without asking, I'll fucking run you over with my car.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) February 26, 2014
This should be standard operating procedure for when this happens.
I want to host a show called Who Gives A Shit so I could say we'll be right back with more Who Gives A Shit 1000s of times before I die
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) February 26, 2014
Some shows could actually say that now.
I find all my best babysitters on Tinder.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) February 26, 2014
Babysitters…that’s code, right?
Retweet if you agree that America should have the best airports, the best roads, and the best trains in the world.
— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) February 26, 2014
Troll on, POTUS, troll on.
Anytime anybody at work asks me to do something, I'm basically just thinking "Fuck you."
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) February 26, 2014
Such a people person.
A Chicago man in a Breaking Bad t-shirt was arrested for cooking meth. Memo to self: stop wearing Dexter t-shirt.
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) February 27, 2014
Guess I should stop wearing my Batman shirt too.
Those people not on social media look so silly making no effort to gain the approval of strangers over the Internet.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) February 27, 2014
Seriously, what is wrong with them?
Justin Bieber you drink the fucking cough syrup??? You fucking dumb midget squirrel dick low life. I shove the NyQuil up your fucking ass
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) February 27, 2014
Have a great weekend, everybody!
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