Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.
Katy Perry is on a Cover Girl commercial talking about "What's on the inside." She may not get a Grammy, but she's taking home an Irony
— Paula Poundstone (@paulapoundstone) January 27, 2014
"Please don't make me go onstage again." — Pharrell's hat. #GRAMMYs
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) January 27, 2014
Even the hat was embarassed.
Jared Leto is rushing due to being late for his jesus look alike contest in san Diego tonite. Top prize gets water wings n wine.
— Kathleen Madigan (@kathleenmadigan) January 27, 2014
Maybe he IS Jesus.
"Well, your mom & I got married at the 2014 Grammys. Madonna was dressed as Boss Hogg. So, yeah, we're divorcing." #GRAMMYs
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) January 27, 2014
Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woke up feeling like how Steven Tyler looked last night.
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) January 27, 2014
He did look a little rough.
Our kids biggest challenge will be to find a username that’s not already taken.
— Amy Weber (@TherealAmyWeber) January 27, 2014
Invented a word the other day while speaking to my beau: "Legiterally." Legit and literally mashed together. Genius slip of the tongue.
— Alyssa Campanella (@AlyssCampanella) January 27, 2014
I am legiterally using that word sometime.
An email from parents: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: Obama's a Muslim
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) January 27, 2014
"Single… With Parents" #SadTVShows
— Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) January 28, 2014
Where’s that sitcom?
Did I miss the Super Bowl?
— Michelle Beadle (@MichelleDBeadle) January 28, 2014
It's the annual day of the year where it's fun to count how many times Deion Sanders references Deion Sanders. Bet the over.
— Richard Deitsch (@richarddeitsch) January 28, 2014
Solid odds on that wager.
Quick Reminder: Cheap toilet paper is not a bargain
— RuPaul (@RuPaul) January 28, 2014
Words of wisdom from Mama Ru.
Does there exist the scenario where someone walks into a coffee shop bathroom and doesn't poop?
— erinn hayes (@hayeslady) January 28, 2014
No. And they use cheap toilet paper too.
Evander Holyfield says homosexuality is a handicap. How great for gay guys! You sleep with really hot men and get the best parking spots!
— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) January 28, 2014
Being gay just keeps geting better and better.
My last question. Do you have to have a speech impediment to get hired at CNN. Serioussly thisss isss a pet pevbe of mine.
— Kathleen Madigan (@kathleenmadigan) January 29, 2014
She’s broken their hiring code.
I like a girl who is confident in her insecurities.
— DC (@DaneCook) January 29, 2014
I’m not sure that’s a joke.
— Judah Friedlander (@JudahWorldChamp) January 29, 2014
He’s got my vote.
I would like to make a rule that you can't post more then four instagram photos in the same outfit
— Whitney Cummings (@WhitneyCummings) January 29, 2014
Instagram rule #4,329.
now bobby if you don't learn your Roman numerals you will never know what Super Bowl it is but you could still be wildly successful in life
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) January 29, 2014
But really, what kind of life would it be?
I would stick my tongue down the throat of the person that could magically make the car deciding experience less miserable and complicated.
— Meghan McCain (@MeghanMcCain) January 30, 2014
She probably shouldn’t have made that offer.
Any show with a laugh track is not funny
— alexandria morgan (@AlexandriaMorgz) January 30, 2014
Is this true?
My favorite part of cheese popcorn is how it has the same effect on your fingers as it does your self esteem.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) January 30, 2014
Mmmm, cheese popcorn.
— Andy Kindler (@AndyKindler) January 30, 2014
They’ll be with you shortly to assist.
"I've always appreciated the hospitality that Packers Country gives a Bears fan." —President Obama #OpportunityForAll
— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) January 30, 2014
Troll on, POTUS. Troll on.
I wish there was somewhere I could go in Jersey this weekend to sit in the freezing cold and watch men wrestle.
— Zach Braff (@zachbraff) January 30, 2014
Have I got good news for you.
I'm the anxiety you get when you've gone to the bathroom without your phone.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) January 30, 2014
Sound familiar to anyone?
Los Angeles is cold today. I had to put a Speedo on over my thong.
— Nick Swardson (@NickSwardson) January 30, 2014
I just shivered – and I am not cold.
How many women have begged their men to take Viagra just because side effects may include "death"?
— josh groban (@joshgroban) January 30, 2014
Gotta be at least 10%, right?
Queen Elizabeth is in financial trouble. How do you go broke when your face is on the money?
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) January 30, 2014
That’s a damn good question.
Ran around in the rain tonight(across a parking lot to my car)
— Kat Dennings (@OfficialKat) January 31, 2014
Candy Crush is a good name for a stripper.
— Zach Braff (@zachbraff) January 31, 2014
It probably already is.
Who win super bowl? The Denver or the Seattle?
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) January 30, 2014
Have a great weekend, everybody!
I want more like this!
Follow us on Facebook and get the latest before everyone else.