Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.
Photo credit: eldh, Flickr
It makes me sick to my butthole to know there are children in this world who believe Jaden Smith is the Karate Kid.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) June 10, 2013
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Ralph Macchio…for…life..
Every morning when my alarm goes off, I think "This is the worst thing that has EVER happened."
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) June 10, 2013
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Same here.
I simply cannot believe Chad's silliness. You don't play around in court. Especially with a FEMALE judge presiding over DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
— Stephen A Smith (@stephenasmith) June 10, 2013
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Re: Chad Johnson slapping his lawyer’s ass.
Melissa tried to save some money on my birthday. Instead of a cake, she had Peter Dinklage jump out of a muffin.
— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) June 10, 2013
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Yes, let’s insult the dwarf with the Emmy.
One reason I love my mom: she says hello to the NSA in every family email.
— olivia wilde (@oliviawilde) June 10, 2013
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We should all be that considerate.
Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee. Also, I don't drink coffee.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) June 10, 2013
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Me every morning.
Skip: "I believe Tebow should start over Tom Brady." First Take producer: "Go with it." ESPN PR: "Authentic debate."
— Richard Deitsch (@richarddeitsch) June 10, 2013
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Actual conversation at ESPN.
I know Tebow maniacs will take offense to this but none intended: Tim Tebow will CRUSH IT in the Danny Woodhead role. A true weapon.
— Rich Eisen (@richeisen) June 10, 2013
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Danny Woodhead takes offense to that.
when did skip bayless become the pats gm?
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) June 10, 2013
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hey @espn please clean up all bodily fluids before you go live so we dont have to see it on tv
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) June 10, 2013
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Jose with the blasts.
How's that taste, Tom Brady: here's a guy that will outwork you, annoy you and you'll have to answer 20 questions a day about him. Perfect.
— Jim Rome (@jimrome) June 10, 2013
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At least it will take attention away from coverage of his hair.
One day we will all have nothing to say about Tim Tebow the QB, and it will so refreshing, so calm. And then the political campaign starts
— Bruce Arthur (@bruce_arthur) June 10, 2013
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You know it’s coming.
“That’s probably someone else’s car alarm going off.” -EVERYONE EVER
— Melissa Stetten (@MelissaStetten) June 11, 2013
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Yep.
There are leaders and followers, and I'd rather be a dick than a swallower.
— Aubrey O'Day (@AubreyODay) June 11, 2013
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Wait, what?
Watching Belichick press conference. Steven Wright would totally be the guy to play him in a biopic.
— Bonnie Bernstein (@BonnieBernstein) June 11, 2013
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Perfect casting.
Hey, has anyone recently heard of a really easy way to lose weight and gain energy? Asking for a friend.
— Wil Wheaton (@wilw) June 11, 2013
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Have the Tweetbots stopped yet?
The check mark next to @AmandaBynes name needs to be changed from "Verified" to "Certified", I cant even watch this anymore. Its depressing.
— Abigail Ratchford (@AbiRatchford) June 12, 2013
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I’ll watch it for you, Abi.
The Spurs hit more 3's than Bill Clinton when there were no 4's available.
— Dennis Miller Show (@DennisDMZ) June 12, 2013
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Tweet of the Week.
I've been naked for the last 36 hours.. I think it's time I put clothes on.
— Ashley Alexiss (@AshAlexiss) June 12, 2013
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Pics or it didn’t happen.
MAN OF STEEL tip: take note of the corporate logo on the side of the satellite.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) June 12, 2013
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Little tip for this weekend.
If you just hold a phone to your face and hold your index finger up no one makes you do stuff at work this is awesome
— Adrienne Airhart (@craydrienne) June 12, 2013
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One sec, I’m on the phone…
“@OMGFactsSex: Sperm is beneficial for the skin” hey guys treat your gf's to a facial
— genevieve morton (@genevievemorton) June 13, 2013
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Strong advice.
Kanye West says he's the Michael Jordan of music. If he's talking about the time when Michael Jordan was playing baseball, I totally agree.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) June 12, 2013
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He needs to stop talking.
This is like churning butter naked at 6 am.
— Gary Busey (@THEGaryBusey) June 13, 2013
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I have no idea what he’s talking about and don’t want to know.
“@AmandaBynes: I could never marry a German because I'm Jewish” All of Germany just breathed a huge sigh of relief.
— Jason Biggs (@JasonBiggs) June 13, 2013
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Phew!