Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.
Photo credit: eldh, Flickr
I bet Jesus was always saying "Do you know who I am?" to people, when he was out drinking with the lads.
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) May 27, 2013
Probably his go-to move.
There's something about having an extra day off work that makes a person get drunk and stab a relative during a family Bar-B-Q. #MemorialDay
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) May 27, 2013
‘MURICA.
If I spoke at Alabama I'd say You hicks need to quit obsessing about football. It's not even part of a university's identity it's a hobby!
— Colin Quinn (@iamcolinquinn) May 28, 2013
And that’s why he won’t be speaking at Alabama.
I'm still shocked that a topless painting of Bea Arthur sold for 1.9 million. I hear wherever you go in the room, her nipples follow you.
— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) May 28, 2013
It’s quite frightening.
You can sell bags of poop if you call it fertilizer
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) May 28, 2013
And?
Keyshawn has enjoyed many great moments in LA, but chasing down Bieber to tell him to slow down may be his greatest.
— Rich Eisen (@richeisen) May 28, 2013
No question about it.
I'd for sure throw a spike strip in front of Bieber's car if that was my neighborhood. And yeah, he probably has fancy run flats but still.
— Tom Crabtree (@itsCrab) May 28, 2013
Who wouldn’t?
Men are babys
— Brandi Glanville (@BrandiGlanville) May 28, 2013
I know you are, but what am I?
Those sneakers that lit up at the bottom when we walked were the business when we were kids.
Why'd we stop wearing those?!— Melanie Iglesias (@MelanieIglesias) May 28, 2013
I want a pair now.
https://twitter.com/michaelianblack/status/339489652815847424
Hard to argue with that sentiment.
Power Move: Before a big meeting, pull a Ratt or Aerosmith t-shirt on over your suit, so people know you fuck rules in the ass.
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) May 28, 2013
Someone on The Apprentice should do this.
Considering the whole of Ke$ha’s lyrical canon, one can’t help but conclude that she’s likely had sex.
— (((Jew))) (@JoshMalina) May 29, 2013
She’s quite the role model.
Suits and ties. h/t @jtimberlake pic.twitter.com/CtmkSbQTBu
— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) May 29, 2013
Seriously?
These days, I frequently find myself asking "What Would Rutgers Do?"
— Rich Eisen (@richeisen) May 29, 2013
And do the opposite?
Oh ya know, just lounging around naked. Typical Thursday morning. #FreeeeBallin
— Ashley Alexiss (@AshAlexiss) May 30, 2013
Pics or it didn’t happen.
https://twitter.com/michaelianblack/status/340155840302575616
Hey, everything I like is stupid too! Sweet.
All feet are nasty.. I don't care what you say.
— Melanie Iglesias (@MelanieIglesias) May 30, 2013
Rex Ryan would vehemently disagree.
I want to know what you did with my father. RT @MarthaStewart: Want to ask me a cooking or gardening question?
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) May 31, 2013
Is that a gardening or a cooking question?
https://twitter.com/AmandaBynes/status/340497306971410432
Who is she talking to?
https://twitter.com/IrelandBBaldwin/status/340537828750524416
I’m with you, Ireland.