Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.
Photo credit: eldh, Flickr
If you had told me 20 years ago that Yahoo was gonna buy Tumblr, I’d have no idea what the fuck you were talking about.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) May 20, 2013
Some people out there actually feel that way today.
First session back on the track in a while, feels good to be training again :)
— Michelle Jenneke (@MJenneke93) May 20, 2013
Attention: Paparazzi! Attention: Paparazzi!
That new Daft Punk is some good pussy eatin’ music.
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) May 20, 2013
People talk about chickens coming home to roost like it’s a bad thing, but I think it sounds heartwarming.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) May 20, 2013
Yeah, why is that a bad thing?
— Arielle Kebbel (@ArielleKebbel) May 20, 2013
Also duly noted.
40 year-old me reacts to the sound of the UPS truck the way 9 year-old me reacted to the sound of the ice cream truck.
— Wil Wheaton (@wilw) May 20, 2013
You are not alone.
It feels like forever until Battleship 2 comes out!!
— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) May 20, 2013
Right. Why are they making us wait?
If you are watching TV in a hotel room and you are not in the bed, you are really weird.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) May 21, 2013
This is 100% true.
I hear one room of the Paula Deen Museum will show video of her in college masturbating with a churro.
— Jason Biggs (@JasonBiggs) May 21, 2013
Thanks for the mental image.
Mark my words: on the last episode of “Game of Thrones,” we will finally get to see all the dragons naked.
— Conan O’Brien (@ConanOBrien) May 21, 2013
Might as well, everyone else has been.
I still love you, @barackobama, but your presidency has entered the “Russian dashboard camera” phase.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) May 21, 2013
That can’t be good.
enough stereotyping. EVERYBODY LIKES FRIED CHICKEN.
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) May 22, 2013
I’m gonna start making fun of people who DON’T like fried chicken. You’re the ones missing out.
— John Legend (@johnlegend) May 22, 2013
That awkward moment when someone tries to talk to you.
— Alison Forns (@alisonforns) May 22, 2013
Seriously, why do people keep doing that?
I feel same re NYC mayoral candidate Weiner as I did Pres Clinton. If their wives are cool with their funky stuff, so I am. Won’t be boring
— Geraldo Rivera (@GeraldoRivera) May 22, 2013
Well, as long as our leaders aren’t boring…
Is Laura Bush the world’s most famous goth?
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) May 22, 2013
Jose Canseco tweeted the name, number and picture of a woman who accused him of rape. All of a sudden the Kardashians’ don’t seem that bad.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) May 22, 2013
Joe Francis probably has a lot of books in his house. Fiction mostly. All well-read & none for show. He’s not alone if he has a good novel!
— Julie Klausner (@julieklausner) May 22, 2013
He seems like a reader.
— FarrahAbraham (@F1abraham) May 22, 2013
Not sure weird is the right word here.
— Steve Austin (@steveaustinBSR) May 22, 2013
Best use of the #soft hashtag all week.
fact: there are 89,673 ways to spell “brittney”
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) May 23, 2013
Candy Crush is a tool of Satan.
— Gregory Shane Helms (@ShaneHelmsCom) May 23, 2013
Without a doubt.
It cannot be stated enough how impressive @rgiii is when he speaks publicly. Guy is the truth.
— Richard Deitsch (@richarddeitsch) May 23, 2013
The NFL needs him.
Putting rocks in socks is a good way to stretch em out when they’re hanging on the clothes-line.
— Gary Busey (@THEGaryBusey) May 24, 2013
Okay then, have a great Memorial Day Weekend all!
I want more like this!
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