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The 25 most eligible bachelorettes in Hollywood

By / 07.17.13
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most eligible bachelorettes in hollywood

Julianne Hough image by Featureflash/Shutterstock


Sexy and single, who are Hollywood's most eligible bachelorettes? Take a look at this comprehensive list.

YouTube/Glamour

YouTube/Glamour




Emma Watson is 23 now. She's all grown up. She's no longer a child star. She's a full blown woman, capable of making us melt in GIF.




This is your chance to be the subject of a popular song.



Can you imagine having Nicki Minaj as your girlfriend, twerking 24-hours a day? That sounds like something I'd be interested in. You?



Are you willing to be used as a yoga wall? If so, Nina Dobrev is the woman for you.

ABC

ABC




Ten years from now Ashley Judd will be the most powerful politician in Washington. She's Hillary Clinton except you know, much younger and uh, much easier on the eyes and her significant other probably didn't cheat on her with a fat woman and a cigar.



The MMA star turned actress recently got dumped by Superman Henry Cavill. I don't want to live in a world where our superheroes make suspect decisions.




Why is Charlize Theron single? Better question, how is Charlize Theron single. Even better question, why isn't she dating me?

Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan image by s_bukley/Shutterstock




Bear with me as I try to explain this one. Take away the drugs, the arrests, the lying, the cheating, the stealing, the debt, the bad acting, the wardrobe malfunctions, the rampant alcohol use, the suspect decision making and the bad driving. When you take away all that you're left with.../fart noises.



Important factual information before deciding to woo Rachel McAdams. That's not her butt in this scene. She used a butt double. I still respect her but much, much less than I did before she had the greatest backside in Hollywood history.

Selena Gomez Justin Bieber

Selena Gomez image by Helga Esteb/Shutterstock




On one hand Selena's tainted with the stench of Justin Bieber. On the other hand, no, forget it, she's forever tainted.

amanda bynes new single record contract

Amanda Bynes, Twitter




Amanda's on this list because she's a wonderful, sane individual who's quite lovely and /sniffs another line of coke. What was I saying?

aaronmentele, Flickr

aaronmentele, Flickr




I don't know much about Kate Mara's love life but she went out with Justin Long which totally means I have a chance because he's sort of a douche.




Remember when Bar kissed that fat, ugly dude in that Go Daddy commercial? Yea, that fat, ugly dude should have been me.




True story: I didn't know who Ashley Greene was before posting this. Then I looked at some pictures. Now I'm ready to marry her. That escalated quickly.

CBS

CBS




Is your MMR updated? When was the last time you had a tetanus shot? I ask because you should totally get a hepatitis vaccine before dating Jenny McCarthy. Not because she's diseased but because it would make her go insane---which would inevitably lead to crazy, monkey sex.




She went out with Ryan Seacrest. For a long time I might add. I question her ability to make sound decisions which is why I totally need to meet her like 10 minutes before last call.




January Jones eats placenta which means you'll have to go toe-to-toe with Tom Cruise for her love.




Eva Longoria says she doesn't wear panties, which is weird because I too am going commando right now.



No, Olivia Munn does not let random men grope her. This is a totally inappropriate GIF. Who put that there?

Jennifer Lawrence Forbes

Jennifer Lawrence image by Jaguar PS/Shutterstock




She's my favorite person in the world and I love her. That doesn't look creepy at all when it's in writing and not being recited over and over in front of my mirror.



Oh, you think you're not good enough for Rihanna? You don't think you're A-list material? She went out with Chris Brown people. Twice. You're an upgrade if you have a heartbeat.

Katie Holmes

Katie Holmes image by s_bukley/Shutterstock




The good: Katie Holmes is a lovely single mom who seems totally normal. The bad: her ex-husband might interrupt your lovemaking by coming over, jumping on your couch, reciting words from the secret Scientology bible and eating your placenta.

Katy Perry boobs

CBS




Technically she's dating John Mayer but he'll probably dump her before you're done reading this.

Kaley Cuoco GIFs

IMGUR




Everyone's favorite nerd crush might be dating Superman Henry Cavill, though, that's not confirmed. She stole him from everyone's favorite MMA crush, Gina Carano. I'd like to see them wrestle for my love.

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TAGSAmanda BynesAmanda Bynes boyfriendArbitrary Rankingsashley greenAshley Greene boyfriendAshley JuddAshley Judd boyfriendBar RefaeliBar Refaeli boyfriendCharlize TheronCharlize Theron boyfriendEmma WatsonEmma Watson boyfriendEva LongoriaEva Longoria boyfriendfeaturedGina Carano boyfriendJanuary JonesJennifer LawrenceJennifer Lawrence boyfriendJenny McCarthyJenny McCarthy boyfriendJulianne HoughJulianne Hough boyfriendKaley CuocoKaley Cuoco boyfriendKata Mara boyfriendKate MaraKatie HolmesKaty PerryKaty Perry boyfriendLindsay LohanListsNicki MinajNicki Minaj boyfriendNina DobrevNina Dobrev boyfriendOlivia MunnOlivia Munn boyfriendRachel McAdamsRachel McAdams boyfriendRihannaRihanna boyfriendSelena GomezSelena Gomez boyfriendStacy KeiblerStacy Keibler boyfriendTaylor SwiftTaylor Swift boyfriendWho is Amanda Bynes datingWho is Ashley Greene datingWho is Ashley Judd datingWho is Bar Refaeli datingWho is Charlize Theron datingWho is Emma Watson datingWho is Eva Longoria datingWho is Gina Carano datingWho is Jennifer Lawrence datingWho is Jenny McCarthy datingWho is Julianne Hough datingwho is Kaley Cuoco datingWho is Kate Mara datingwho is Katy Perry datingWho is Nicki Minaj datingwho is Nina Dobrev datingWho is Olivia Munn datingWho is Rachel McAdams datingWho is Rihanna datingwho is Selena Gomez datingwho is Stacy Keibler datingWho is Taylor Swift dating
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