Remember that sex list Lindsay Lohan had “leaked” awhile back that listed James Franco as one of her conquests? Remember how he denied it vehemently? Well, Franco just wrote a short story that is totally not about that event.
Related: The Lindsay Lohan celebrity sex partner list just got 8 names longer
In Vice’s new fiction issue, Franco penned a story called “Bungalo 89” in which he tells the tale of not having sex with a “fictional” girl named Lindsay…
There was a Hollywood girl staying at Chateau Marmont. She had gotten a key to my room from the manager. I heard her put the key into my front door and turn it, but I had slid the dead bolt and that thing—I don’t know what you call it; it’s like a chain but made of two bars — that kept the door from opening.
She said, “James, open the door.”
Across the room was a picture of a boy dressed as a sailor with a red sailor cap, and except for his blondish hair (closer to my brother’s color) he looked like me.
She said, “Open the door, you bookworm punk blogger faggot.”
Oh wait, it gets better…
My phone rang. She let it ring until I answered.
“You’re not going to let me sleep, are you?”
“Do you think this is me? Lindsay Lohan. Say it. Say it, like you have ownership. It’s not my name anymore.”
“Lindsay Lo-han.”
“I just want to sleep on your couch. I’m lonely.”
“We’re not going to have sex. If you want to come in, I’ll read you a story.”
“A bedtime story?”
“It’s called ‘A Perfect Day for Bananafish.’”
See, totally NOT about Lindsay Lohan.
Every night Lindsay looked for me. My Russian friend, Drew, was always around like a wraith. He, like the blond painting, was my doppelgänger, writing scripts about rape and murder. A Hollywood Dostoyevsky, he had gambled his money away. We played a ton of ping-pong. My room was on the second level, the exterior walls hugged by vines. Every night Lindsay looked for me, and I hid. Out the window was Hollywood.
You really owe it to yourself to read the entire story. There’s SO much mor. It’s truly James Franco at his finest. At one point he even calls himself immortal: “Immortally young; immortally sex.”
Immortally sex. Genius.
Related: James Franco shared his nude paintings of Seth Rogen, because of course he did
Bungalow 89 [Vice]
James Franco image by Andrea Raffin/Shutterstock