Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.
Photo credit: eldh, Flickr
Pretty psyched about the quality and quantity of my zits today.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) November 19, 2012
Now that’s positive thinking.
Choosy moms don’t choose Jif. They choose organic almond butter or some shit and then they don’t shut up about it.
— chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) November 19, 2012
Sound familiar to anyone?
It seems like the only time I use my house phone is when I need it to call my cell phone when I can’t locate it. Am I alone in this?
— Kharma (@Kharma) November 19, 2012
I like humans. They’re just not my absolute favourite animal.
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) November 19, 2012
I’d put them about fifth on my list.
Shower song o the day : Lykke Li, Dance Dance Dance. Oh Lykke, you fabulous.
— olivia wilde (@oliviawilde) November 19, 2012
Okay. So we know she sings in the shower. Note made.
POLL RESULTS (1183 VOTES): What size TV do you watch your games on? Top vote was 55 inch (23.7%), followed by 42 inch (21%)
— darren rovell (@darrenrovell) November 19, 2012
What size TV do you watch the games on?
Sometimes I’ll drive with my left tires over the lane bumps, just to remind myself I’m alive.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) November 19, 2012
By Friday you may need to do this as well.
Finished all of my Christmas shopping today! Its feels sooo good! Now I need to pick a wrapping paper theme!
— Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian) November 19, 2012
Have you picked your wrapping paper theme yet?
Ugh. I just remembered that grown-ups call Thanksgiving “Turkey Day.”
— Jen Kirkman (@JenKirkman) November 19, 2012
I call it stuff myself, watch football, and sleep on the couch day.
GARY BETTMAN DUMB BITCH
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) November 19, 2012
I didn’t know The Sheik was a hockey fan.
hey everybody, YOLO, right?
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) November 19, 2012
He better just be fucking with us.
Ke$ha scares me. It’s like she’s lip-syncing right at me.
— Michelle Beadle (@MichelleDBeadle) November 20, 2012
You’re not alone. She scares a lot of people.
I would watch a puppet show about Elmo’s attorney.
— Gerry Duggan (@GerryDuggan) November 20, 2012
It would be PBS’ new hit show.
Twitter is great cuz it’s really the best forum on which one should express & debate opinions about what’s going on in the Middle East
— Julie Klausner (@julieklausner) November 20, 2012
No, Facebook is actually better for that.
Don’t even FRONT like you love your family, America, or God if you don’t have a DETAILED & REHEARSED Black Friday tactical shopping plan.
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) November 20, 2012
He’s right, you know?
Reading about paula broadwell threatening jill kelley over patraeus. This sounds more and more like an episode of basketball wives
— David Spade (@DavidSpade) November 20, 2012
Did he just admit he has watched Basketball Wives?
After hearing about Elmo’s escapades it’s no wonder Oscar is such a grouch….jealous bitch.
— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) November 20, 2012
Joan Rivers, ladies and gentlemen!
— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) November 20, 2012
I’m already annoyed with the media’s coverage of “Black Friday”.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) November 20, 2012
Join the club.
Headed to my parents house. Anyone know if you can hook an ipad up to dial-up?
— Zach Braff (@zachbraff) November 20, 2012
I’m sure there’s an app for that.
Today is going to be the best day of my life.
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) November 20, 2012
I wonder how that worked out.
So the NCAA basketball scoring record was shattered by a little white guy. Well played Mayans, well played.
— Gregory Shane Helms (@ShaneHelmsCom) November 21, 2012
Yep. It’s all over now.
What’s a good app for interacting with my family at the Thanksgiving dinner table?
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) November 21, 2012
Have a good Turkey Day, folks! (Oops.)
I want more like this!
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