It’s been a while since we’ve done this, but we’re back to the written version of the Hottie Index. In case you forgot how we do this, in order to make The Hottie Index, the celebrity, athlete, or other notable hottie in question needs to be relevant at this moment and tearing up the headlines. Just because you're hot isn't enough. You need to be in the news.

 

5. Jessie James
I’ll be the first one to tell you that I don’t listen to country music, so I really had no clue who Jessie James was before this week. I do now, however, thanks to Eric Decker of the Denver Broncos. Decker was a breakout start in Week 2 of the NFL and has found his way onto many a fantasy team since. With all the attention on Decker, we’ve now found out that he’s dating our #5 from Tennessee, who appears to be a total smoke. To live up better to Decker’s fantasies, James was born in Italy, which means she probably knows how to whip up a nice home-cooked meal. Chicken Parmesan…YEAH!

 

4. Poppy Montgomery
Esquire wants to be a classy men’s magazine, so it needs a theme to show half-nekked chicks. It’s “Me in My Place” series has been going on for a while now, but it honestly never gets old. I’m fully supportive of any idea that shows a girl in her sexy panties frolicking around her apartment. Now at age 36, the Aussie Montgomery is starring in CBS’s "Unforgettable," which is Esquire’s excuse to get into her apartment. It’s probably not a bad way to promote her show either assuming you can appreciate a good red head. And if you can’t, then you should check your manhood at the door.

 

3. Yvonne Strahovski
Most Bros should be drawn to today’s movie release of “Killer Elite” due to action stars Jason Statham and Clive Owen, as well as legend Robert De Niro. But if you make it to the theater, you’ll be pleasantly surprised by the presence of Strahovski as well. The #3 hottie has been kept rather hidden in the spotlight unless you’re a fan of NBC’s “Chuck,” and who is? Don’t let the name fool you. Strahovski also comes from Australia, although her parents were Polish immigrants. Suddenly you’re realizing the depth of talent in Australia is worth a trip down there, aren’t you?

 

 

2. Noelia Marzol

Week after week, phone hackers are doing their best to “leak” photos from celebrity camera phones with one outdoing the next. Or maybe the celebrities are taking raunchier pictures of themselves knowing full well that their cameras are going to get hacked at some point and they need to make sure they look their best. Marzol is the new queen of the camera phone with these recent leaked pictures. The #2 hottie is a game show host in Argentina, but I’m more focused on her rather perfect rack. Maybe her producers should change her show from a family program to something involving nud*ty, because that will no doubt increase ratings.

 

 

1. Nicole Scherzinger
Girls who have big racks obviously know they’re well equipped, if for no other reason than they must deal with some back pain. With that in mind, Scherzinger definitely knew what she was doing when she appeared on "Conan" this week with an extremely low-cut outfit. The #1 hottie was promoting her role as a judge on “X-Factor,” but Conan was too busying staring at her chest. Scherzinger called him out on it, but we all know full well that she wore that outfit because she knew he would stare. Regardless of her motives, we’re OK with anything that shows off that much cleavage.