While most people were heavily focused on this week’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, there were a few other things going on in the world of hot chicks. I’m not gonna hate on you if you didn’t realize that, though, because turning the pages of the issue probably resulted in some type of chronic hand muscle malfunction. My only gripe with the issue is I wish U.S. female soccer member Alex Morgan had a bigger rack. At least she knows how to hit the back of the net and had the ovarian fortitude to get in body paint. But I digress. On to the list…

 

5. Adaora Akubilo, Crystal Renn, Jessica Perez, Kirby Griffin, Nina Agdal, and Michelle Vawer
We all remember our introduction to Kate Upton last year as the Swimsuit Issue's Rookie of the Year. Her presence was so greatly felt on our website that I think she didn't appear on our site in only 2 of the 20 days following the release of last year's issue. Given that, we want to make sure we give this year's rookie class some attention because one of them might end up on next year's cover too. Unlike with Saved by the Bell, we hope this new class is actually worth watching. My money is on Agdal for big things.

 

4. Megalyn Echikunwoke
Showtime's new show "House of Lies" may not be a 100% accurate representation of the management consulting world, but there are plenty of truths, assuming you know the business as well as I do. While most of my attention to females on the show deals with the increasing interest in Kristen Bell, we give a nod this week to Megalyn Echikunwoke. Her IMDB page says she's been in the new "90210," so it's really surprising she made the leap to on-screen nud*ty while dialing up her second sex romp with star Don Cheadle. We encourage more actresses to get topl*ss. You know... for the love of the art and all that bullshit.

3. Belen Rodriguez
Only in Europe can a major star get away with wearing a dress whose slit opens up only inches away from her glory hole. That's the route Rodriguez took this week when appearing in programming for the Italian Song Festival. The "Italia's Got Talent" host showed off a whorish butterfly tattoo right near her tw*t. That's classy. Almost as classy as the sex t*pe that hit the Internet last year with she and her now ex-boyfriend. We applaud her for not learning from her mistakes.

2. Brittney Palmer
If you watch a lot of UFC, you've probably been waiting for this month's issue of Playb*y for a while now. Those of us who don't watch as much will likely want to know how we can get more Brittney Palmer in our lives. The UFC has graced us with the likes of Arianny Celeste in the past, so we know they have the whole hot ring girl down. Note to Palmer: I really hope you don't expect people to focus on your "art" when they stumble upon your website: 99% of people are looking for spank bank material. It's time to know your audience better and embrace it.

 

1. Kate Upton
There should be no surprise that Upton hits the top spot after her first Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover. That, however, isn’t the only reason she’s here and frankly the other news would probably land her in the top spot regardless. Victoria Secret’s casting director Sophia Neophitou went after Upton this week, telling the New York Times that Kate’s body was “too obvious” to be a VS angel. We’re glad to see Upton had the chutzpah to fire back at Sophia and we’re behind her 100%. What’s wrong with some curves and a DD-cup? Victoria Secret does sell DD-cup bras right? Who’s with me to start a ban against buying VS gifts for our girls for how they treated our favorite All-American girl?