It's Friday and chances are someone, somewhere, is going to do pull a drunken stunt this weekend. So this story could not have come at a more opportune time.

 

Twenty-two-year-old Connecticut resident Nikolaus Trombley not only stole a lawnmower from the shed of a local high school, but according to police, he actually drove the thing home and cut his parents grass at 3 a.m. What a son, giving his mom with an early Mother's Day gift. Obviously Nikolaus didn't get away with this, since we know about it. Instead, he got arrested for third-degree larceny, burglary, and impersonating a landscaper. He'll probably face a fine and some community service, but that's nothing because now he has this story in his archives forever. And if someone tries to say, "B.S., Nik, you never did that. You're all scrotum and everybody knows it," Nik has the surveillance video of him riding the mower to prove it.